Fate is an undeniable force in our lives. Rather than having some supernatural basis, our fate is guided by our circumstances; genetics, environment, nature, nurture and all that. In my case, genetics and probably environment blessed me with two cancer diagnoses in the 2nd half of 2015. First it was malignant melanoma. A weird mole thingy on my back which I had excised and after it was confirmed malignant I had a surgery to excise lymph nodes. 36 stitches later and I got the good news. It hadn't spread.
Meanwhile, I'd been suffering from seemingly various urinary tract issues. Spent 12 weeks on antibiotics last summer at one point and after some (months long) struggle finally managed to get a urologist and he diagnosed a tumor in my bladder on my 2nd visit. After removal it was found to be cancerous. And after a single dose of chemo (6 hour infusion), I became lost as to how I could support myself during treatment (should I be able to actually arrange treatment) when it put me in bed for nearly 5 days and I had two more surgeries to go through along with 4 more weeks of chemo.
Then my emergency medicaid ran out (when I stupidly thought that I was ON regular Medicaid) and I had no more doctor appointments. So 10 days into December, I was mentally lost. Governor Bill Walker and his right-wing ilk refusing to implement expanded Medicaid had won. I gave up. Fuck it. That was my attitude. I'll just fucking die since that's what assholes like Walker really want to happen.
I have managed to moderate that state of mind and have found an alternative where I will hopefully be able to get treated (at least 3 billion other people on this planet have easier access to health care than I do ... yay 'Murica). I leave January 18th for Massachusetts where I'll have the support I need to become well.
Never vote for Walker again please; just as a favor to me.
I doubt I can keep lots of my readers from voting for their various republican asshole legislators with this post but you should. Their attitudes toward the working poor (me ... who works close to 40 hours per week and was working 65 hours per week often in the summer on two jobs) makes them unworthy of your vote.
I'll turn in my media credentials this Friday and will just be a fan in a seat for my last two Seawolves games.
I think we've got a good team (with lots of future potential) and I'm sorry really that I don't have the where-with-all, motivation and/or mental focus right now to spend any time writing about them. I'll be watching every game and who knows at this point if I'll have anything to say here.
At this point, I don't envision moving back to Alaska (I said that before though). I love the state, but honestly (and I mean this sincerely) there's so many fucking fascist-loving ignorant dumb asses here that even the lowest population density of all 50 states doesn't spread them thin enough for me.
I hate that this sounds a bit like I'm whining. I don't mean it that way. There are shit-tons more people in worse circumstances than I. Show some empathy for them. Steal something from WalMart for them. Give them a couple of dollars when you see them in need. Volunteer at a shelter or soup kitchen. Most of those people have nowhere to go or people that they can turn to in their time of need. I do.
Look me up this weekend at the Bemidji games and say hi/bye.
I love my Seawolves (and all my hockey friends). Go get em the rest of the way. Start with 4 points this weekend please. Thanks.