Tuesday, May 22, 2007

WCHA Needs Better Names

In my estimation there are 3 decent nicknames in the WCHA. The Seawolves, the Badgers and the Pioneers. The Gophers, Mavericks, Sioux, Tigers, Bulldogs, Huskies and Huskies should all change their names. Why do I say those are all those crappy nicknames? Lemme 'splain; A good nickname would represent the region the school inhabits in some way. It should conjur a positive image for it's students, fans and players. It should probably be combative in some manner. For example: The UAA Forgetmenots might represent the region nicely and even be a positive image but it isn't exactly going to inspire any sort of fear in opponents unless their asthmatic. In general, I'm all about identifying things in life that are stupid or weak in some way but being so is akin to nothing more than simple complaining if you don't provide solutions. So first here's some explanations about why 7 WCHA teams have crappy nicknames and afterward of course I've got solutions.

The Crappy Names
The Gophers is an unacceptable nickname for a number of reasons. It's a prey animal that scurries into a hole when threatened. What sort of identity is that to have? A rodent? "My Aunt Linda" on Saturday Night live would give that "3 Gaa's and a Jeezzzus".

The Mavericks? In Minnesota? Yeah that's what I think of when I imagine Minnesota. The great open prairie filled with cattle ranches. Um ... huh? Sure there are connotations for the word Maverick that aren't related to an "unbranded calf, cow, or steer, esp. an unbranded calf that is separated from its mother". We might think of a ruggedly individualistic person who strikes off on their own. Or even a powerful Air-to-Ground tank busting missile. But that big purple longhorn used as a mascot sorta invalidates that eh?

Next are the Sioux. When the North Dakota State University chose the nickname Bison way back in the 20's there was a bit of a panic down the road in Grand Forks at their rivals school. The Flickertails of the University of North Dakota knew they'd been one-upped. A Bison was way more intimidating than Bambi. So the frat boys and girls got together and came to the conclusion that the one thing in North Dakota that could push a Bison around was a Human Being. So instead of calling themselves "The Caucasian Train Riders with .50 Caliber Rifles Who Nearly Obliterated All of North American's Largest Ungulate" they decided to use the name of the people who'd had a respectful thousand year predator/prey relationship with the Bison. The Sioux. Then of course they had to add the word "Fighting". This name meets a couple of my definitions above for a decent name. It's respresents the region and it has a combative element. It isn't however really a positive image is it?

Next on my list ... The Colorado College Tigers. The closest non-zoo Tiger to Colorado Springs is about 10,000 miles away in Indonesia. And while it's a nickname that has been traditionally used in Major League sports for a hundred years or so it just isn't appropriate. It is no less "bad" for Detroit's baseball team. I have no idea how they came up with it but it's ridiculous by my standards. It has absolutely nothing to do with the region.

The University of Minnesota-Duluth Bulldogs? What does a Bulldog have to do with that region? Yeah ... Bulldogs are terrifying and all (when you get passed their wheezing) but excuse me if I don't get how a dog breed that originated in the UK has anything to do with an American college on the shores of Lake Superior.

Then there's our two Huskies. The originals in Michigan and the other one. It seems that Husky is a general term for any sort of dog who pulls a sled. Cool ... there's a whole lot of dog mushing history in Michigan and Minnesota eh? What? There isn't? Oh crap. All right ... so dozens of colleges use the nickname. Does that make it good? Nah. It's weak.

The Better Names
University of Minnesota:
Lakers might be a good alternative but the pro basketball team that moved to L.A. had it first and it would seem cheesy to adopt it. About 50% of the regions population is of Scandanavian ancestry so maybe they could call themselves the Fighting Blondes? Nah. Certainly better than Gophers but it's not real intimidating. Another reasonably good name would be the Wolves but the current pro basketball team is using it so that wouldn't work either. Vikings is obviously out. So the one name that I like having pondered this difficult question is The Moose. It is the largest wild mammal indigenous to Minnesota and UMTC is the largest campus in the UM system. Not a lot of other schools use it and best of all every once in a while a Moose ends up pissing down a Gopher hole.

University of Minnesota-Mankato:
The Mankato region in Minnesota isn't particularly inspirational in any way. It's not specifically lake-country though there are a few lakes in the region. It isn't particularly forested as it's a transition region toward the great plains. It might be simple to use some other indiginous wildlife like a Bear or a Wolf. However, I think a historical reference is better in this case. Mankato was originally a settlement that grew from a U.S. Cavalry fort. I think honoring that history is the best respresentation. So my solution to the inappropriate Maverick nickname would be to change it to Troopers. There is an ugly incident that might make some people a bit uncomfortable but the area's heritage is what it is. A cool Cavalry logo and the name Troopers would be about a thousand times better than Mavericks. Plus it's got that whole honoring the military theme that everyone loves.

University of North Dakota:
If there is a single defining characteristic of North Dakota (besides the flatness) it would be the wind. The Greek God of the west wind (the overwhelming primary direction in that area) was called Zephyr. The Fighting Sioux are actually the one team in the WCHA that suffers actual criticism for it's name. Not many people there favor any sort of name change. But in my book the University of North Dakota Zephyr is a BILLION times better than Fighting Sioux.

Colorado College:
This is the simplest of the seven. Tigers is beyond stupid when there are Black Bears alive and well living in the wild within 100 miles of the school. It's such a slam dunk better nickname that from now on I refuse to call them the Tigers. I'll use CC and/or call them the Black Bears.

Univesity of Minnesota-Duluth:
What built Duluth? What is that areas history? I'd tend to think it's dominated by cities location on Lake Superior and it's connection to shipping and commerce. So should they call themselves the Edmund Fitzgeralds? Or the Tankers? How about the Longshoremen? Nah. The other major connection to the history of the area is Minnesota's "famed" Iron Range. Even today about 40 percent of the iron that goes into making steel in the U.S. comes from the Iron Range. So I'd propose changing from the overused (and weak) moniker of Bulldogs to the Iron Rangers. A cool industrial style logo with some care taken to ensure that there's no association with the NY NHL franchise and you've got a winner in my book.

Michigan Technoligical University:
MTU was originally called Michigan College of Mines. I can't think of any way to better pay respect to that history than to change the nickname from Huskies to Miners. The area's history is one of copper mining even though there is no active mining today. The name would reflect that tradition nicely.

St. Cloud State University:
It's honestly difficult to suggest a new nickname for this school without making a Bluffskies joke so I'll just settle for having made the reference. The area has less of an inspiring history than Mankato. There really is so little that is remarkable. St. Cloud grew from three settlements called Upper Town, Middle Town and Lower Town. Yawn. So there's really nothing to do but resort to natural history. I'm not sure if Minnesotan's classify St. Cloud as part of "lake-country" but the density of lakes in the vicinity is reasonably high enough (and it's close enough) for the school to adopt the name Lakers.

So that's that except to say that Pioneers, Badgers and Seawolves are all appropriate names. They each reflect something of the region in a positive manner and have enough of a combative connotation to set them apart from the other seven. I was a bit conflicted about the Pioneers but in the end gave them the benefit of the doubt even though they've had two of the worst logos (Disney Boone and Jelly Donut) in sports history.


dggoddard said...

I see your self imposed exile is history now that you've unleashed two Loser fan bases on my Blog (Gophers & Sioux).

Glad I could help... :-)

BTW the Denver Boone has his own facebook page.

Anonymous said...

How Much Does the Off-Season Suck?
Hey that is pretty cool as I used to go to Dr. Payne 1st when he was above LaMex in Spenard and then when he moved to Denali and 36th. Best dentist ever............you better be good with a name like that.

Donald said...

Moi? Unleashed? That's far too much credit to lay at my feet. I'm just a humble blogger.

dggoddard said...

If you ever decide to write that expose about UND's dirty recruiting tactics I want first shot at it in LetsGoDU.

I've got a good story on the Evil Empire you can throw in.

F2B&G said...

I'd be willing to become the Miners, so long as NMU has to change their nickname from the 'Wildcats' to the more historically accurate 'Crabs'. ;)

Donald said...

Email me when you're ready. The idea has several forms in my mind.

Anonymous said...

I think the gophers is actually a good nickname, nowhere close to the seawolves. How humiliating is it to be beat by an gopher. I mean when you are beat by something tough and intimidating that is one thing but rodent that lives in little holes on the prairie that are shot by ten year olds, that is humiliating.

Donald said...

Well that eloquent defense has certainly given me something to ponder.

Nope. Moose would be a better nickname.

Anonymous said...

moose would be a good name, but I don't think the gopher nickname is bad. Everyone outside of Minnesota and myself seems to hate it but everyone outside the state of Minny seems to hate the school as well. But moose wouldn't be bad. But I am still not sold on the Zephyrs, it makes me think of an old cartoon character (that I don't remember where he came from).

Dirty said...

Just a bit of help on geography, Grand Forks is currently up the road from Fargo. And I'm pretty sure it was up the road in the 20's too. Unless you're talking in terms of elevation. If that's the case, then you are correct.

Donald said...

I think I just meant "down the road" in a linear sense. Leastways, that's what I'm saying now. I also made reference to Bambi as related to Flickertails because I'd always assumed that was some sort of silly regionalism ( ie... calling groundsquirrels gophers) that was either a deer or pronghorn in reality. Way poor research on my part. A Flickertail is actually another type of groundsquirrel. My bad. Of course I did neclect to mention that the "Official" School Colors are Pink and White.

Zephyr makes me think of a fast moving locomotive. That would be a cool logo along with the regional identity of the powerful non-stop prairie wind. It's a winner I'm telling ya.

As for Moose. They're an underrated animal. Take this from someone who has 25 years of living with a dense urban moose population. If a moose wants to take you down you're going down.

These 60 or 70 year old nicknames are relics of some bygone misguided closed little on-campus political buffoonary by our great grandfathers. Lets move on and forget about honoring Rocky and get on the Bullwinkle bandwagon!

Dirty said...

No, UND's official school colors are green and pink. You're just on a roll so far. This is becoming more embarrassing then when REA opened and had a banner that said Ancourage.

Anonymous said...

as someone who works summers for the AK Railroad a locomotive would be sweet. And yes moose do strike fear, which is why i agree that it would be a sweet mascot, but I still am not sure that U Minny needs the change, but it might be a better fit for the UMD who is farther north and more "wildernessy" and probably has more of a moose population. And speaking of Moose I saw wine today at Oaken Keg called Three Blind Moose, which looked like it was from California! Since when does california know anything about moose??? Well you can tell by the illustration on the bottles that they did not know much about moose, from my quick glance it looked like caribou antlers on steriods and not moose antlers, but sorry for the rant.

Donald said...

Or last year when the WCHA Final Five had North Dakota State Univerisity listed as a participant on it's program.

Dirty said...

The NDSU boys were happy about that. It was the first DI title they ever "won".

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