October 19th and 20th: UAA versus UAF at the Sullivan Arena, be there or be square. And bring your indignance. If your indignance tank is empty then just read on to get all filled up.
There are only a few things in this universe that I'm pretty sure about. One is that any visitors from another world sure as hell don't need a spaceship with lights. Anyone that sees a "UFO" that had lights, sure as hell didn't see a spaceship from another civilization. Do you really think some aliens sharp enough to build an interstellar spaceship to come visit Earth (from how ever many light years away) need flashing lights when they get here? Puhlease ...
The second is that traveling backwards in time isn't possible. If it was, then (either today or at some point in our history) someone from the future would have stopped by. Since they haven't then it's simple to conclude that traveling back in time isn't possible (without even having to mention the paradoxes that arise from the concept).
The third thing I'm sure about is that a University which is 397 miles east of, 371 miles south of and 275 miles north of the nearest ocean certainly shouldn't have an Institute of Marine Sciences department. Don't get me wrong. Alaska has more coastline than the rest of the United States combined and the comprehensive study of all things Ocean is completely and entirely necessary and I support it wholeheartedly. But having the center for that study located in the middle of Alaska is beyond stupid. This came to my attention today because the National Science Foundation approved 2.5 million dollars toward building UAF a 123 million dollar research boat, the Sun Star. What a joke.
We Alaskans all recognize that the state government has to artificially enhance the Fairbanks economy in order keep it... lets see ... um ... "afloat". Fairbanks had some geographic relevance about a hundred years ago as a key location for travel and trade amongst pioneers and gold seekers. It even had a sort of usefulness in the 70's as somewhere for pipeline workers to buy drugs and hookers. Unfortunately, in the modern world there is zero reason for Fairbanks to exist. So in order to keep Alaska something other than just Anchorage and a bunch of villages in the bush; the people of this state through their legislators have created the Fairbanks Welfare District. Fancy museums with ridiculous sound galleries and now a freaking boat to be parked in Seward are the latest in a long line of WELFARE thrown at the Golden Heart City to keep it from arresting.
The Omniscient Orifice (otherwise know as Shelia Toomey of the Alaska Ear) reported this past Sunday,
"Invitations are out for the installation of former UAA president Elaine Maimon as president of Governors State University in Illinois on November 3rd. Rumors persist that she got pushed out because she dared to defend UAA in the eternal Anchorage vs. Fairbanks campus war."You couldn't make this kind of shit up if you tried. Thank God they have this joint up there.