This is an examination of the ways in which the 2015-2016 UAF Nanook hockey program is like the 1936-1944 German National Socialist Party. Yes, seriously. I'm going to compare the two. Fine, I violated Godwin's Law. My only defense is that without criminals like me there'd be no sweet prison guard jobs and pensions.
Nazi's liked to pose for pictures with polar bear mascots. Fairbanks fans do too. Here's the proof.
President Harry Truman hated Nazis. President Harry Truman avoided going to Fairbanks during his lifetime. You may think this is a coincidence, but the truth about the universe is there are no coincidences.
I know I'm not supposed to post pictures of hot chicks anymore. But, my research shows that these two attractive ladies live in Fairbanks. You can't argue with a picture of hot chicks in leather.
Only a Nazi would design a wide roadway through the middle of town and then put up a ridiculous fence on both sides for the entire length of the road. And worse, only Nazis wouldn't change that.
In 1935 an Anchorage hockey team headed up to Fairbanks to play a game. In 1935, the Nazis were playing hockey. The evidence is undeniable.
Admittedly, that's a team of female Nazi's. UAF's modern hockey team is often compared favorably with women's hockey. So there's that. I think my comparison is starting to hit home.
There is a wealth of comparisons one might make between this year's UAF hockey program and the Nazis. Tons of stuff even. So much stuff, that I have to stop here. I'm sure I've made my case. The UAF Nanooks are just like the German National Socialist Party of the 30s and 40s. Just like them. Almost exactly like them.