Tuesday, December 08, 2015

Nanook Hockey: An Unwanted and Unneeded Comparison

This is an examination of the ways in which the 2015-2016 UAF Nanook hockey program is like the 1936-1944 German National Socialist Party. Yes, seriously. I'm going to compare the two. Fine, I violated Godwin's Law. My only defense is that without criminals like me there'd be no sweet prison guard jobs and pensions.

Nazi's liked to pose for pictures with polar bear mascots. Fairbanks fans do too. Here's the proof.

That's pretty irrefutable. Google "Polar Bear and Nazis"" to see for yourself. This was an actual thing back then. Frigging Aryans are weird. Also, people from Fairbanks are weird. So, Nazi's ... yep.

President Harry Truman hated Nazis. President Harry Truman avoided going to Fairbanks during his lifetime. You may think this is a coincidence, but the truth about the universe is there are no coincidences.

I know I'm not supposed to post pictures of hot chicks anymore. But, my research shows that these two attractive ladies live in Fairbanks. You can't argue with a picture of hot chicks in leather.

Only a Nazi would design a wide roadway through the middle of town and then put up a ridiculous fence on both sides for the entire length of the road. And worse, only Nazis wouldn't change that.

In 1935 an Anchorage hockey team headed up to Fairbanks to play a game. In 1935, the Nazis were playing hockey. The evidence is undeniable.

Admittedly, that's a team of female Nazi's. UAF's modern hockey team is often compared favorably with women's hockey. So there's that. I think my comparison is starting to hit home.

There is a wealth of comparisons one might make between this year's UAF hockey program and the Nazis. Tons of stuff even. So much stuff, that I have to stop here. I'm sure I've made my case. The UAF Nanooks are just like the German National Socialist Party of the 30s and 40s. Just like them. Almost exactly like them.


mike peterson said...

I've been trolling the nanooks hockey blog on Twitter all day, I suggest you all do the same...go Wolves

Unknown said...

What a blog! No write up of their last two home games ... oh yeah, they were SWEPT. Not much to write about I guess.

Donald Dunlop said...

The UAF blogger is a good bloke. He's likely enjoying the trolling. As for him not covering games ... he's like me; an amateur with a job and social obligations.

Anonymous said...

Is this the start of the old D we all loved (most of the time :))?

Britton said...

This was absolutely hilarious. I would make a joke about the Jews in Seawolves jersey's that we're about to burn this weekend, but that might be insensitive...

And troll away, Mike. Glad to see someone besides Donald's typical cast of cronies sticking up for the team. The rivalry needs both teams to be good to keep this interesting. But I certainly will troll back :)

I said at the beginning of this year that I would be stepping back quite a bit. Working full time, and teaching amongst other responsibilities is a bit tiring. I want to keep writing, but I don't want to feel like its work. I've got a good thing started with this video series, will probably keep up more on that into the second half of the season.

Like Donald, I started the blog because local coverage blew. The last two seasons, both the Fairbanks newsminer and the local TV stations along with the Athletic department are producing good perspective. Doing game recaps really is just a duplication of effort. I've been using Twitter more lately, not as a live update mechanism, but a means for commentary.

Good luck to the 'Wolves this weekend. Assuming you're in the press row this weekend, I'll come say hi, Donald.

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