On Wisconsin

Every region has it's ugliness, foibles and stupidity. Wisconsin certainly is not immune from that rule. Hunters so desperate for a deer sometimes end up shooting at each other for encroaching on their spot. It seems that whenever one hears about some twisted perv raping a road-killed deer that it takes place in Wisconsin. I have no doubt there are a couple of roadkill raping pervs in Michigan and Minnesota but they just don't get caught at the same rate as the roadkill raping pervs in Wisconsin.

My favorite serial killer was born and raised in Wisconsin. Ed Gein. Eddy only took the rap for two offings. But he was the inspiration for many many real and fictional serial murderers. Gein probably murdered his brother first in 1944. But it wasn't until his dear mommy bit the dust that Eddy freely engaged in his hobby of stealing dead bodies to make keepsakes. When he finally got nabbed the first thing the cops found in his shed was a decapitated victim hung upside down with her body dressed out as you would a deer. Then cops searched his house and found the good stuff. Human skulls mounted on his bed posts. Skin lampshades and upholstery. Skulls used as bowls. A windowshade pull made from human lips. A belt made from women's nipples. A box of preserved vulvas. I know Jeff Dahmer is probably your favorite Wisconsin serial killer but he seems mundane to me when compared with Eddy Gein.

Dean Talafous never murdered anyone. He nearly destroyed the UAA hockey program. But at least he didn't kill anyone (that I know of). Deano was once a big time hero on the ice for the Badgers. He scored some real important goal for them when I was 11 years old. He went onto a 9 year long NHL career amassing 163 penalty minutes in nearly 500 games as one of the all-time great wusses in the NHL. As near as I could figure the guy had 2 fights in his NHL career. That's one less than Gretzky isn't it? Perhaps this little rant about Tally is unfair here since he wasn't actually a Wisconsinite. He was born in Duluth a whopping 2 miles from the Wisconsin border so that's close enough for me. My original screen name on USCHO's fan forum was "AnyoneButTalafousNow" back in 1999. Stupid me. A year and half later when UAA showed Talafous the door we ended up with John Hill who was ultimately worse than "Anyone".

In 1990, I had an extended stay in Wisconsin while getting certified to repair Digital Equipment Corporation VAX computers. You can't make a U-turn in Wisconsin. How queer is that? No U-turns? I took some classmates out to lunch one day and made just such a turn. 3 Wisonsinite heads exploded. I think there's a correlation between the no U-turn laws and the number of serial killers in the state. I'm sure of it. I can't say that I have many other lasting memories of the place. Oh yeah ... I had my first visits to Sbarro and Chick-Fil-A ...woohoo.

During the trip I did manage to get to see an NHL preseason game between Chicago and Vancouver at the Bradley Center in Milwaukee. Mike Peluso was trying out for the Keenan coached Blackhawks, so it was cool to see him playing. I'm not a Mike Keenan fan but I imagine Peluso is since I think it was under Keenan that he learned the value of working harder than anyone else. And it was exactly that character trait that led to Peluso's nice NHL career where he eclipsed Dean Talafous' 2 fight mark (1951 penalty minutes in 458 NHL games). I never saw Talafous get emotional at the Sully; I once heard Mike Peluso tell an AFA player that he'd shove his stick up the AF players ass and turn him into a popsicle. At the end of the game he fought three of them at the same time. Big Mike wasn't from Wisconsin.