Monday, December 01, 2008

On Wisconsin

Every region has it's ugliness, foibles and stupidity. Wisconsin certainly is not immune from that rule. Hunters so desperate for a deer sometimes end up shooting at each other for encroaching on their spot. It seems that whenever one hears about some twisted perv raping a road-killed deer that it takes place in Wisconsin. I have no doubt there are a couple of roadkill raping pervs in Michigan and Minnesota but they just don't get caught at the same rate as the roadkill raping pervs in Wisconsin.

My favorite serial killer was born and raised in Wisconsin. Ed Gein. Eddy only took the rap for two offings. But he was the inspiration for many many real and fictional serial murderers. Gein probably murdered his brother first in 1944. But it wasn't until his dear mommy bit the dust that Eddy freely engaged in his hobby of stealing dead bodies to make keepsakes. When he finally got nabbed the first thing the cops found in his shed was a decapitated victim hung upside down with her body dressed out as you would a deer. Then cops searched his house and found the good stuff. Human skulls mounted on his bed posts. Skin lampshades and upholstery. Skulls used as bowls. A windowshade pull made from human lips. A belt made from women's nipples. A box of preserved vulvas. I know Jeff Dahmer is probably your favorite Wisconsin serial killer but he seems mundane to me when compared with Eddy Gein.

Dean Talafous never murdered anyone. He nearly destroyed the UAA hockey program. But at least he didn't kill anyone (that I know of). Deano was once a big time hero on the ice for the Badgers. He scored some real important goal for them when I was 11 years old. He went onto a 9 year long NHL career amassing 163 penalty minutes in nearly 500 games as one of the all-time great wusses in the NHL. As near as I could figure the guy had 2 fights in his NHL career. That's one less than Gretzky isn't it? Perhaps this little rant about Tally is unfair here since he wasn't actually a Wisconsinite. He was born in Duluth a whopping 2 miles from the Wisconsin border so that's close enough for me. My original screen name on USCHO's fan forum was "AnyoneButTalafousNow" back in 1999. Stupid me. A year and half later when UAA showed Talafous the door we ended up with John Hill who was ultimately worse than "Anyone".

In 1990, I had an extended stay in Wisconsin while getting certified to repair Digital Equipment Corporation VAX computers. You can't make a U-turn in Wisconsin. How queer is that? No U-turns? I took some classmates out to lunch one day and made just such a turn. 3 Wisonsinite heads exploded. I think there's a correlation between the no U-turn laws and the number of serial killers in the state. I'm sure of it. I can't say that I have many other lasting memories of the place. Oh yeah ... I had my first visits to Sbarro and Chick-Fil-A ...woohoo.

During the trip I did manage to get to see an NHL preseason game between Chicago and Vancouver at the Bradley Center in Milwaukee. Mike Peluso was trying out for the Keenan coached Blackhawks, so it was cool to see him playing. I'm not a Mike Keenan fan but I imagine Peluso is since I think it was under Keenan that he learned the value of working harder than anyone else. And it was exactly that character trait that led to Peluso's nice NHL career where he eclipsed Dean Talafous' 2 fight mark (1951 penalty minutes in 458 NHL games). I never saw Talafous get emotional at the Sully; I once heard Mike Peluso tell an AFA player that he'd shove his stick up the AF players ass and turn him into a popsicle. At the end of the game he fought three of them at the same time. Big Mike wasn't from Wisconsin.

26 comments:

Kris said...

WOW!!!! Reading that was sort of a waste of time. I kept reading to see if something would come that was worthwhile nope, but at least I am not going to be a serial killer having been to Wisco only once when I was too young to remember.

Better Dead than Red said...

Back in the day we used to drive over from Minnesota to Wisconsin to play paintball. I guess we are lucky that no one came up "missing". One thing for sure is the girls are easy over there. We never had a problem picking up those "cheese-fed" gals. :)

Upperdeck said...

After a number of excellent postings you had to get your mind back into the gutter. This posting gets my vote for one of your worst ever.

Donald Dunlop said...

Upper:
Nary a WCHA week passes here without me writing something insulting and denigrating about the town or region of the opposition.

Monday/Tuesday = bash the opponent (sometimes one day ... sometimes more days)

Weds/Thurs = genuine preview

Fri/Sat = recaps (of a sort)

Sun = The only REGULAR new post/article on the college hockey internet (not always hockey related though).

Hopefully that will help you avoid the stuff you don't like.

seawolvesfan said...

your scaring me DD(you should drink some sprite and eat some crakcers and go to sleep:cuz what the hell?)

"My favorite serial killer was born and raised in Wisconsin. Ed Gein. Eddy only took the rap for two offings."

"Then cops searched his house and found the good stuff. Human skulls mounted on his bed posts. Skin lampshades and upholstery. Skulls used as bowls. A windowshade pull made from human lips. A belt made from women's nipples. A box of preserved vulvas."

what the hell? really DD, are you currently in prison(with benefits) im speechless, are you really trying that hard to get page views and comments(i really like when you hate on other teams but what the fuck happened?)

AFA-what does this mean?

weirdest and scariest(scared for your well being) post on a blog ive seen

Donald Dunlop said...

AFA = Air Force Academy

Morbid Humor isn't for everyone. And "favorite" doesn't mean admire. Check your local library or bookstore and you'll find a HUGE fascination among the public for books and movies about serial killers. This guy was the real-life inspiration for "Buffalo Bill" from Silence of the Lambs.

Come on ... a "box of vulvas"? The guy dissected corpses he'd stolen from graveyards and put the vulvas in a box? That in itself isnt funny per se ... but the three words "box of vulvas" has undeniable comedy overtones.

Anonymous said...

A little Dirty-esque, but I still support your writing. Dirty would be very upset that you stole his thunder.

Anonymous said...

Dirty has no thunder .......
more like a barking gerbil

Donald Dunlop said...

Um Dirty-esque? LOL.

When I first found Dirty he was lazily laying around USCHO interjecting an occasional sarcastic comment. By the time I'd molded and shaped the boy, not only had he moved out his mom's basement but graduated to using the full set of tools.

Anonymous said...

You have got 2 be kidden. Tallynut was absolutely fukin horrible and at least hill had 10 plus Alaskans on the team.

jjack said...

UAA moved from the #19 ranking to #15 without playing a game.

So I guess that means everyone else did shitty this weekend?

Anonymous said...

DD,
I enjoyed the Peluso bit, Wish we could see Mike once in a while. Not sure where he is living these days.

Dan

AKfan said...

Hill may have put Alaskans on the team, but he set the program back a good 5 years with the crap he pulled, deserting his "dream job".

Anonymous said...

Anyone know if GCI will have the games on TV this week?

Anonymous said...

jjack

The spread from 15th (UAA) to 19th (New Hampshire) is 18 total points. The difference between the team just above us (Michigan) and UAA is 207 points. 18th place Omaha and 19th spot NH shed a combined 312 points from the prior week. UAA could very easily have dropped out of the top 20 save two teams that the consensus thought were in the top 15 or so had poor weekends.

The statistical rankings only place the ’Wolves at 22 or 23 in the country. I’ve compared them for a long time against the polls and UAA has almost always had a better placing by doing the math, than from the subjective opinions that comprise the polls. In the past, the spread has usually been as great, but in the opposite direction.

I’d think UAA needs a minimum of 2 points from the trip to Madison to stay in the top 20. More importantly, having now watched them play against a couple of the Nation’s better teams, and some others with decent records, I’m looking for 3 or 4 points. That’s assuming we’re able to get a coupla-three PP goals and continue our recent otherwise excellent performance. Been 4 games since we’ve bulged the twine while up a skater. We’re 0 for 20 in that stretch.

WhiteBeard

Jimjamesak said...

Ahh the pride of Pengilly Minnesota, Mike Peluso. Not only was he a great hard working player, he also had one of the legendary mullets in hockey history.

"I once heard Mike Peluso tell an AFA player that he'd shove his stick up the AF players ass and turn him into a popsicle"
Somehow I'm not surprised Mike would bust out a line from The Warriors.

NooksKiller said...

Gotta keep these bloggers on their feet DD, nice article...but you did say the magic words, Mike Peluso, Seawolf royalty. I was at a skateathon for the MHA Mustangs my first year of squirts when Mike gave me a pair of sunglasses and told me I looked cool. Good times, life has really gone downhill from there....

Suze said...

Wasn't Peluso on the famous "Crash Line" in the NHL?

Anonymous said...

Mike Peluso, in case anyone cares, played at Greenway HS in MN. Same school as Gino Guyer who had a short stint with the Aces a couple years ago before messing up his knee. Pengilly is a small community next to Coleraine and Bovey, which along with Calumet those communities have about a population of 3,000, and that might be generous. Lots of good hockey players come from that small school.

matthew said...

Wasn't Peluso on the famous "Crash Line" in the NHL?

yeah, he was

Anonymous said...

I cant wait for this match up Between UAA and Sconsin. Both teams are pretty equal this year so well have to see what happens this weekend! GO WOLVES!!!

seawolvesfan said...

just jekring your chain there DD, you know in your blog you end up having to explain yourself a lot

On Wolves said...

God bless Mike Peluso. I had his rookie card with the Blackhawks, still have it in fact. And oh my, what a beutifull mullet/tuxedo ensemble he is sporting on the Seawolf Hall of Fame wall in the WF Center.

Runninwiththedogs said...

Fuck that Jimmyjam. The pride of Pengilly, MN is MARCO PELUSO.

Ed Gein also had Slayer write a song about him.

Donald Dunlop said...

Mike > little cousin Marco

Isn't Marco's claim to fame something to do with fishing? Mike's name is on the Stanley Cup.

Anonymous said...

Big Red Sweep...

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