DU Students Are Kyle's Mom

Some 400+ University of Denver students attending the Pioneer hockey team's preseason exhibition game versus McGill University from Montreal, Quebec were stupid enough Saturday night to regale their opposition with "U-S-A  U-S-A  U-S-A" chants.  Um ... hint-o-rama here future DU alumni ... when an American University plays a Canadian University it isn't like the Olympics .. um cos .. THERE are Canadians on your team.  Morons.

One long time anonymous DU fan said this on the internet ...

"Disgusting display by the Students tonight chanting USA! Led by a student wearing a KE hat - that E was a Greek E for Sigma - sadly these students have no idea of the great Canadian players that have come through this school and given us our greatest moments - time for someone(DG?) to teach them some history. I was disgusted with their chants and singing American anthems."

Some people are believed to be saying that what's even more troubling are the unconfirmed reports of unrestrained nationalistic zealotry advocating violence: shrill cries of "Kill The Fucking Canadians!" were said to have allegedly been heard.  

So just like Kyle's mom; it seems the DU student body has lost whatever minimal semblance of rational thinking they ever had before enrolling in that sorrowful pocket-emptying diploma-factory.

DU's three Canadian born players Joey Laleggia, Shawn Ostrow and Sam Brittain were said to have been heard to simultaneously utter "WHAT THE FUCK?" at one point.

Some people are also now saying that DU might not be such a safe place for Canadian players.  I can't say I disagree with that.  They've recently formed the "National" conference.  It's not called the "International" conference, is it?  Perhaps this "National" conference will indeed have benefits for other schools in the future.  If the 8 ultra-elite butt-hurt schools that formed the league all swear off recruiting Canadian players it's got to be proportionally good for the rest of US college hockey.

All Things Butterbean

Just a sampling of various Butterbean stuff.  Enjoy.  Click the links in the last section.  They may not be that interesting but when the website owners see a bunch of hits from Alaska they're gonna say WTF? 

There's Gold In Them Thar Hills

Fly away on my Zephyr,

I feel it more than ever,

And in this perfect weather,

We'll find a place together.

I figured I'd go with somewhat of an historical exposition of the the many and varied UND takes that I've presented on the blog over the last few years.  The posts below represent lots of the non-hockey talk that's gone on.  It's pretty damn long.  Sorry about that.

Helping The Humorless in North Dakota

How about we start this week off with some light humor prior to getting around to the two important games this weekend.  Hopefully, this will get the week off to a fun start.  I didn't write these jokes.  I adapted some of them slightly for thematic purposes.  Some you may have heard, some not.  If you're from the polite end of society then I'm thinking not.  Yeah, some of them are pretty offensive.

Western Michigan: Latest Victim Of CHN TOTW

Following a one week unexplained hiatus, College Hockey News has announced it's latest victim of Team of the Week honors.  Western Michigan has been so deemed.  Apparently a NINE game unbeaten streak before last week's games wasn't quite enough to designate Western with this "honor" as the (at that time 12-6-8) Broncos were facing a relatively good (at that time 11-11-4) Northern Michigan team last weekend.

Hide Yo Cars, Hide Yo Wife - Tony Mosey Is Coming

The Twin Cities Pioneer Press is reporting today that St. Cloud hockey player Tony Mosey is facing felony "damage to property" charges and made his first court appearance yesterday (Monday November 15th, 2010).  The complaint alleges that Mosey caused about $3,500 in damage to a 1997 Buick LeSabre by walking on and caving in the "entire roof".

Anchorage Fun Guide For St. Cloud Players

Dear Husky Players,

Soon you'll be traveling to Anchorage, Alaska to play my beloved Seawolves this coming weekend.  I wanted to take this opportunity to welcome all of you to my fine city and state.  And to give you some tips which should make your stay both more enjoyable and entertaining.  And hey ... click all the links.

Memoire de la Rencontre Avec des Fan de Saint-Cloud

As sure as the sun rises, you can guarantee that douchey newbs from Minisoda will turn up on the internet in various venues to crow about how awesome their hockey teams are.  It's like bread and butter, stars with planets and used condoms with dehydrated spunk on Spenard Road.  It matters not what the realities are, they'll fucking argue with you about stupid shit until their wives or mommies make them get off the computer.  The story below isn't about someone like that.  It's about some normal folks like me.

I Heart Statistics and Other Ramblings...

I should preface this post by saying that I work for UPS and I've had to see this commercial many times, and I don't like it. But if I have to suffer so should others...

Making an Entrance

In the past few months I've been asked by people to give them an idea of I how thought UAA's season will go. My reply: I... don't know.

Preseason Polls

You know the season is about to start when the absurdly awesome Preseason Polls come out.

Predicting the Hockey World...

April is the month, it seems, where the various hockey season kick it into high gear. The Frozen Four starts Thursday (Perfect! Something other than golf on the ESPN's!), Stanley Cup Playoffs start in a week, the World Championships start this month with Mitch and Luka in the Division I playoffs before the Championship Division starts on May 7th. There are others as well, the Calder Cup (AHL) playoffs, some playoff thingie the Aces are playing in Wasilla, the Memorial Cup and the different CHL playoffs leading to that, the U18 Worlds etc. So I now offer my predictions for the various tournaments and playoffs...

The Frozen Four

• Wisconsin vs R.I.T.

The Badgers are the lone WCHA team remaining in the tournament, beating Vermont and St. Bob in the SOHTHNWASC (State of Hockey That Has Never Won A Stanley Cup), while RIT is the prototypical Cinderella story of this years tournament beating Denver and New Hampshire in Albany.

Prediction: We've seen this before with Bemidji State last year and, as much I'd love the Badgers to bounce out to RIT, it never has a happy ending. RIT's clock hits midnight. Wisconsin 4, RIT 1.

• Miami vs Boston College

First note, I'm not putting that dumb (Ohio) thing next to Miami. If you think the Hurricanes are challenging for the title, get help. Anyway, Miami is back in the Frozen Four, beating Alabama - Huntsville and Michigan (in OT) in Fort Wayne, after losing to BU in overtime 4-3 after coughing up a 3-1 lead in the final minute last year. BC beat TAFKAF before downing Yale in the craziest game of the tournament in Woostah.

Prediction: Miami has been on a mission to get back win the title all year. It'll be tough but they move on. Miami 3, BC 2.

• Championship Game: Wisconsin vs Miami

Prediction: Miami wins it all in OT. Miami 4, Wisconsin 3 (OT).

Stanley Cup Playoffs

The Western Conference teams were set tonight as Colorado beat Vancouver and Calgary lost to San Jose, putting the Avs in and Glencross and the Flames out. The East has bit of work with 4 teams (Montreal, Philly, Boston, and the Rangers) duking it out for 3 spots. I say the Rangers miss out as they're almost out already.

• Key Thing to Watch: The Curse of Marty McSorley

In the 1993 Finals, in Game 2, Wayne Gretzky and the Kings had a 2-1 3rd period lead. Montreal got a cheap power penalty by having McSorley's illegal stick measured. The Habs scored on the PP to tie it, won in OT, and won the next 3 games to clinch the Cup. Since then, no Canadian team has won the Stanley Cup. And in that timespan Vancouver, Calgary, and Edmonton have all lost in Game 7s plus Ottawa losing to Anaheim and Colorado winning the year after moving from Quebec. Vancouver, Ottawa, and (presumably) Montreal will be in the Playoffs this year, so look out for what interesting way the Canadian teams will flop out this time.

• Eastern Conference

1. Washington
2. New Jersey
3. Buffalo
4. Pittsburgh
5. Ottawa
6. Montreal
7. Philadelphia
8. Boston

Prediction: Washington will be the favorite, Cindy and the Pens will be right there, Ryan Miller can take Buffalo far, but the New Jersey Devils will roll on to the Stanley Cup Finals.

• Western Conference

1. San Jose
2. Chicago
3. Vancouver
4. Phoenix
5. Nashville
6. Los Angeles
7. Detroit
8. Colorado

Prediction: This one is almost too close to call with so many good teams but, the Chicago Blackhawks move on after at least 18 games played.

• Stanley Cup Finals

New Jersey Devils vs Chicago Blackhawks

Prediction: Chicago celebrates it's first Stanley Cup in a long time beating the Devils in 6.

IIHF World Championships, Division I Group A 4/19 - 4/25

The group with Mitch Bruijsten and The Netherlands plus Austria, Japan, Lithuania, Serbia, and Ukraine. Now, to correct what Donald had stated earlier, the format will be that the 6 teams will play a round robin, 5 games each, using the IIHF format (3 points for a regulation win, 2 for a win in OT or shootout, 1 for a SO/OT loss, 0 for a regulation loss). The team with the most points wins the group and is promoted to the Championship division for the 2011 IIHF World Championships. This Group is being played in Tillburg, The Netherlands. The Netherlands, Lithuania, Japan, and Ukraine were all in this group lasy year, Austria was relegated from the 2009 World Championships, while Serbia was promoted from Division II.

Prediction: Austria normally wouldn't have been relegated if the Germans weren't hosting the main championships this year (they beat and finished ahead of the Germans in the 2009 Relegation Round) and I don't see anybody that can beat them. Mitch Bruijsten and The Netherlands I do see finishing 2nd though.

IIHF World Championships, Division I Group B 4/17 - 4/23

Luka Vidmar and Slovenia host Group B and will be lloking to return to the Championships for the first time since 2005. The Lisi, Great Britain, Poland, and Croatia return to Group B, Hungary joins after being relegated from the 2009 World Championships, while South Korea joins from Division II.

Prediction: Luka Vidmar and Slovenia roll to the top and head to the Championships next year.

2010 IIHF World Championship, Germany (Cologne, Mannheim, Gelsenkirchen) 5/7 - 5/23

Russia enters as the two-time defending champions, Canada enters as the Olympic Champions after losing the last two Worlds to Russia. This tournament always plays second fiddle to the Stanley Cup Playoffs and thus this tournament is missing a lot of top players. NHL players will take part but only from teams that don't make the playoffs or get eliminated from the playoffs early, and only if they want to play. Despite that, the Big 6 of international hockey (Canada, Russia, Sweden, Finland, USA, and Czech Republic) will be the favorites with Canada, Russia, and Sweden the favorites to win. The tournament kicks off with an attempt to break Michigan - Michigan State's World Attendance record with Germany and the US playing at Veltins Arena (Formally the Arena aufSchalke. Soccer fans might know the place as where the Czech Republic beat the US 3-0 in the 2006 FIFA World Cup). The 16 teams are divided into 4 groups of 4 where they play a round robin, the top 3 teams in each group move onto the Qualifying Round (Groups E and F. Group A and D to E, Groups B and C to F) with games from the previous round carrying over. Each team plays 3 more games against the 3 teams from the other group and the top 4 teams in each group move onto the Playoff Round. There it's single elimination (with a Bronze Medal Game) to the Championship. The Bottom 4 teams from the First Round play a round robin with bottom two teams relegated to Division I. Here are the Groups:

Group A

• Russia
• Belarus
• Slovakia
• Kazakhstan

Group B

• Canada
• Switzerland
• Latvia
• Italy

Group C

• Sweden
• Norway
• Czech Republic
• France

Group D

• Germany
• USA
• Finland
• Denmark

Prediction: This one's a bit early to tell as the rosters won't be finalized for a couple of weeks. Canada and Russia have to be the favorites, the other 4 of the big 6 can be outside favorites and I'd give Switzerland, Latvia, and Slovakia a good shot as well. I'll make a predicted finish:

1. Sweden
2. Russia
3. Canada
4. USA
5. Finland
6. Switzerland
7. Czech Republic
8. Slovakia
9. Belarus
10. Lavia
11. Norway
12. Germany
13. Denmark
14. France
15. Kazakhstan
16. Italy

Again, a lot of this will depend on who will be on the rosters. Some of the players from the US Olympic team could return but not that many, including all 3 goalies. Rick Nash, Marty Turco, Steve Stamkos will most likely be there for Canada. Beyond that, it's a toss-up.

So that's what I see happening in the next couple of months. Should be fun to watch!

Que Orinar En El Oso Polar

Stolen Footage Cut From The "Danger Zone" UAF Hockey Promo

Here are some suggestions for those UAA fans in attendance Friday night with regard to proper treatment of UA_ fans who will unfortunately also be in the building:

Never under any circumstances should you ....

• Give their penny loafers a flat tire ...
• Do a farmer-style nose blow onto the blue/gold jersey holding up progress in front of you ...
• Advise them where the beer section is ...
• Tell them where the restrooms are ...
• Chant ... "Nuck the Fanooks clap clap ... clap clap clap ..."
• Give a large conglomeration of them the "double-bird" ...
• Eat a double-bean burritto and save the gas until you're in a group of them ...
• Laugh at their small penises ...
• Grab their little stuffed white bears and rip the stuffing out of it without giving them $10 to replace it ...

Always try to be nice ...

• Ask their name and then say, "Oh ... Charlie Sokaitis was looking for you I think" ... then point to the opposite corner of the rink and add, "He's over there" ...
• Answer all questions smiling with the following Spanish phrase, "Que orinar en el oso polar" ...
• From behind, tap them on the left shoulder as you pass them on the right ...

You know you're from Fairbanks if ...

• You get lost in a Multiplex Theater ...
• The blue book value of your truck varies according to how much gas is in the tank ...
• You wake up with a black eye and a hickey ...
• You think Sherlock Holmes is a housing development in North Pole ...
• You think Genitalia is an Italian Airline ...
• You pack a .44 Magnum when you visit the Alaska Zoo ...
• You and your dogs piss on the same tree ...
• The Salvation Army thrift store refuses your mattress donation ...
• You ever got too drunk to fish ...
• Your wedding reception included a beer brunch ...
• You bring your own sacramental wine to church ...
• You ever cut the grass and found a car ...
• Your coffee table used to be a cable spool ...
• Directions to your house include, "turn onto dirt road" ...
• Your porch collapses and kills more than 3 dogs ...
• You called 8th grade your "Senior Year" ...
• Foreplay talk includes "There's no cars coming babe" ...
• Your mom taught you how to sneak booze into hockey games ...
• You come home from the dump with more than you took ...

How do you make a Nanook fan laugh on Friday night?  Tell him a joke last Monday.
Why don't Nanook fans eat soup?  They can't get it to stay on their fork.
Know how to save a drowning Nanook?  Take your foot off his head.
Whats the difference between a Nanook and a bucket of shit?  The bucket.
How do you make a Nanook fan's eyes sparkle?  Shine a flashlight in their ear.

I was at a bar once in Fairbanks celebrating another Seawolf victory and asked the bartender if he wanted to hear a funny Nanook joke.  He looks at me and says, listen dude ... I was on the rifle team at UAF, that big guy over there played 3 years of Hockey for the Nanooks in the 80's and the man next to you used to coach the Basketball team.  So do you really want to tell us a Nanook joke?  I said, "No I guess not, I don't want to explain it three times."

A Nanook fan went moose hunting.  Way out in the sticks he finds a beautiful naked woman.  She looks at him with bedroom eyes.  He gets excited and says, "Are you game?" ... she replies, "Of course silly."  So he shoots her.

What does the UAA Alumni say to the UA_ Alumni?  "Will the defendant please rise"
How does a Nanook puck bunny turn on the lights after sex?  She opens the car door.
What do they call a crime ring in Fairbanks?  The basketball team's starting five.
How do you keep a UA_ Nanook hockey player out of your driveway?  Paint a blue crease in front of it.
What do you call twenty Nanook fans falling from the sky?  Skeet.
How do you start a small business in Fairbanks?  Open a large business then put a UAF grad in charge.
What do Nanook fans use for birth control?  Their personalties.
Did you hear the UA_ library burned down?  Damn shame ... half the books hadn't been colored in yet.
What do you get when you put 32 'Nook fans in a room?  A full set of teeth.
What did the average Nanook hockey player get on his SAT's?  Drool.
How do you get a UA_ Alum off your doorstep?  Pay him for the pizza.
How do you starve a UA_ Alum?  Hide the food stamps under the soap.

UAF Roster Shenanigans

I noticed something very interesting early this season.  I've been holding my water about it.  But tonight I finally got around to working some random comparisons that leave me to draw no other conclusion than UAF's roster weights are complete bullshit.  

I've taken three other D1 rosters at random and noted the average weight gains from freshman to senior years.  Surprisingly, the percentage is quite low.  For example, Merrimack had just one senior this season with any weight gain from his freshman year and that was 10lbs over the 3 year period.  Not unreasonable at all for a hockey player to put on 10lbs in 3 years.  If you look around you'll see some variance in both directions with some players.  For example, Anthony Maiani at DU weighs 5lbs less as a junior than when he showed up as a freshman. 

However, when you look deeper at UAF's roster you see something amazing.  Shall I expound?  As a freshman Brandon Knelsen's weight was reported as 190lbs.  Now in his senior year he weighs 199.  Not out of the ordinary for a guy to gain 9 pounds in 3 years.  Let's go a little further shall we?  Dion Knelsen was listed at 180lbs as a freshman.  This season he is 187.  Ok.  As a freshman Dustin Molle tipped the scales at 214lbs.  This year he weighs 222.  Ok so ... 8lbs more.  Cody Rymut hit the UAF campus weighing in at 195lbs.  This season he is 200lbs.  All in all, that's a bit of a statistical variation from the norm but nothing to jump up and down about.

Well ... so far there's no jumping anyway.  But, I've got a little more data.

Bryant Molle has gone from 185lbs as a freshman to 210lbs as a junior.  Wow Bryant ... way to pack on the pounds.  25lbs in just two years for an athlete sure shows a dedication to the weight room.  Kevin Petovelo has gone from 180lbs as a freshman to 193lbs as a junior.  Another guy clearly dedicated to the weight room.  Dustin Sather appears equally engrossed by lifting weights as he's gone from 160lbs as a freshman to 175lbs as a junior.  

But those guys clearly don't hit the gym as often as their sophomore counterparts.  Cody Butcher went from 205lbs as a freshman to 218 as a sophomore.  Nice!  13lbs in just a year.  Justin Filzen outdid him in the weight room though going from 180lbs as a freshman to 194lbs as a sophomore.  As seniors, Butcher should top 240lbs and Filzen should weigh near 225lbs.

So do I believe any of that weight-room spew I just laid down?  Hells no.  Am I saying there's something nefarious afoot?  Hells no.  Then what?  Are they following Jim Schoenfeld's advice to Don Koharski and everyone is just going to "have another donut"?  Well maybe, over-eating is a well-known psychological response to the ever-present darkness that is the reality of winter in Squarebanks.  But I don't think it's any of that ...

I recognize that a couple of years ago UAF was one of the shortest and lightest teams in the entire NCAA.  It wasn't a pleasant identity to have.  Other teams knew just by looking that they would be able to employ a physical strategy to beat up on the little guys.  So Coach Ferguson took matters into his own hands, or should I say roster pen and rectified the situation.  Fudging weights on rosters is nothing new in hockey-land.  However, being so blatant about it is.  The Nanooks this season are the 46th shortest team in Division 1.  But suddenly they are the 4th heaviest team in Division 1? Puhlease.  That's just nonsense.

So regardless of what the roster's say;  UAA is still much bigger overall than UAF and can still go out and push the (now fat) little hobbits around.

Wednesday Potpourri: Justice, Skepticism and Rewards

I've got a ton of stuff on my plate in the coming month or so.  I'll do my best over that time to keep the posts here as regular as possible but don't have expectations for daily posts of any great length.  I say that now but my nature tends to keep me at the keyboard until I've excreted whatever is on my mind.

_______________

There was a bit of a hue and cry calling for Jade Portwood's suspension after the hit he laid on Nick Leddy broke the kid's jaw in last Friday's game versus the Gophs.  Coach Don Lucia went so far as to make a formal request to the WCHA that some action be taken.  A complete lack of any communication on the matter from WCHA offices seems to indicate that no action against Portwood will be taken.  Common sense justice prevails for once.

As someone who experienced a substantial inury as a result of a cheap shot (Mercyhurst's Captian Ryan Toomey took out Jade's knee at the end of the game in last season's Brice Goal Rush tourament), Jade would be the least likely player to ever try to injure an opposition player.  Hopefully he doesn't let any of the subsequent falderal affect his play.

_______________

GCI finally put up the archived UAA/UND games in the last couple of days.  Well sort of ... they actually put the Saturday game up twice.  I guess they wanted to forget about the Friday night loss too?  Anyway, I grabbed the goal highlights and posted them on my YouTube account.  Additionally, I posted a video of the Best National Anthem Singer in the WCHA as well.  Having listened to zillions of anthem singers over the last 30 years I've got to say that Steve Dickson (I hope I spelled it right Steve) is without a doubt the best I've heard in the WCHA.  I'm always bummed when it isn't him singing.  Here's the embed so you don't have to click the link (note: I got the audio issues corrected).

_______________

DU blogger Damien Goddard is promoting the concept that DU is going to skate circles around the Seawolves this coming weekend.  I like figure skating as much as any Winter Olympics fan so hopefully we'll get to see lots of Rhakshani Triple Lutz's and Salazar Toe Loops and Rugsegger Double Axles and so on.  Apparently, the fact that they have 8 guys under 5'10" is going to be a huge advantage for the Pios this weekend. 

The Pios are even coming to Anchorage a day early in order to allow them to adjust to the .3lbs per square inch difference in atmospheric pressure here at sea level.  Or maybe they need it to recover from the big bad plane ride?  Gee Damien, you think the 12 tickets that UAA buys for DU has anything to do with them being able to afford to stay an extra night in a hotel here?  When are you going to step forward and demand that your school pay it's own way?

It's sort of funny that Damien takes this tact when at the same time the plethora of excuse making is underway.  Their propaganda machine has H1N1 running rampant through the DU squad and Marc "2nd Coming" Cheverie is out hurt so they have to rely on a rookie backstop with grotesquely bad stats are the main excuses so far. 

What's next?  Joey Colborne's gotta hangnail?  What happened to this being the greatest assemblage of college hockey players to ever hit the ice?  Make up your mind DG ... you gonna sandbag or stay with the original hyperbole?

"Flu" is the most overused inaccurate term in hockey.  Let's see some confirmation that it was H1N1 eh?  I know it's going around but 38 confirmed cases (most in May of 2009) in the Denver metro area tends to negate this suspicious sounding report of it going through the DU hockey team.

I'm not saying here that Gwoz wasn't feeling well or that some players didn't have something ... but don't be parading H1N1 around without being able to back it up eh? Click the links to investigate for yourself if you think I'm bullshitting here.  TV news assholes do anything for ratings; seriously, isn't that report a solid example of the worst sort of gleefully delivered local fear mongering evAh?  I guess I've been up here too long ... I forget how the real world works I suppose.

_______________

I'll have a reasonable preview tomorrow.  I think there is a solid opportunity this weekend for the Seawolves to come away with some wins.  Obviously there's never any guarantee of such a thing but circumstances certainly seem to point to an opportunity.  The team is in the middle of the toughest 8 game WCHA opening schedule they've ever faced.  2 points in the last 4 games though is hardly satisfying to anyone (players and fans) so a weekend at home against a flu weakened, injury riddled squad ought to be a good thing right?  Come back tomorrow and see what I think.  Now here's your reward for not bitching about me not posting for 3 days.

And yeah ... one day I'll suck it up and reward my female readers with some pic of a hunky guy.  Maybe.  Such a thing will be difficult to do though.  I'll lose tons of male readers if I do.

UAA Seawolves Hockey Team Facts

The UAA Seawolves are so powerful that ...

Black Holes are pulled toward them ...

They tie their skate laces with their toes ...

Everytime they hit Brett Hextall in 2009, his dad Ron gives up a goal in 1991 ...

Dave Hakstol uses solar eclipse viewing methods when coaching against them ...

Oosiks disintegrate in their presence ...

They go up Niagara Falls in barrels ...

Redwood decking sprouts new leaves whenever they walk on them ...

All the urinals at the Wells Fargo Center have to be Stainless Steel or they'd break ...

All WCHA fight songs played backward start with "Shout it off the Chugach Mountains ..."

Whenever they lift weights in the gym, penguins in Antartica start flying ...

Solar Coronal Mass Ejections are known as "Seawolves Fireworks" by physicists ...

Mazzacco's rug has to be super-glued or it will run away in their presence ...

They don't depend on formulas to do physics, physics formulas depend on them ...

The Sumatra Tsunami in 2004 was the result of two players pissing in Cook Inlet ...

Using with a bowling ball, they can split an arrow like Robin Hood ...

They can bowl a perfect game with a ping pong ball ...

Thunder is the result of them appluading the lightning ...

They put Humpty Dumpty back together again in 11 seconds flat ...

Shoemaker Levy-9 was the winning throw from the annual Seawolf Rock Skipping Contest ...

They don't get frostbite, the frost gets Seawolfbite ...

When they want an egg, they crack open a chicken ...

Go Seawolves!

The Weekend Past, The Week Ahead

Monday is far enough away from the upcoming weekend to make anticipation of it less than intense. The weekend that just passed is close enough for any commentary to still be fresh. So ..what happened in the WCHA this past weekend? Lots ...

The Bulldogs of Duluth hosted the Mankato Landcows. They weren't nice hosts sweeping the Landcows 5-2 on Friday and 3-2 on Saturday. By all accounts neither team played their best hockey. It's early for them too. My educated guess and limited reading regarding the series tells me it was likely a bit sloppy at times but still as gritty and tough as most WCHA games tend to be. Duluth can't be annointed with any crowns based on beating Mankato twice. But things look promising so far across the river from Superior, Wisconsin. The Bulldogs visit the Huskies II in St. Nothingelsetodoville this weekend.

Continuing with the bovine theme ... DU went to Cowlumbus to face Ohio State. They split the unusually scheduled Thursday/Friday series by winning 2-0 on Thursday and losing 4-0 on Friday night. Two questions come out of the weekend. The first is where is all the offense that DU is alleged to have? The second is how long before Joe Colborne returns from what sounds like a serious finger break. He had to have surgery and will probably have more surgery. Ouch. Fingers are important hockey tools. As someone who's had a broken finger and other finger injuries I can attest that getting over one isn't simple. DU still has shitloads of scoring though ... right? Funny how there's little if any talk about DU's defense so far. Don't count on questions about their defense staying in the background for long. If their GAA goes up slightly the questions will come. Denver goes to the John for a couple versus the Gophers next.

Speaking of the Gophers. They got PWND 4-0 this past Friday night against UAA's next opponent. The Sioux were literally flying all over the ice. I saw enough portions of Friday's game to be impressed with the Sioux's play. They always have an intense rivalry with their big brothers from the east. I have to give much of the credit for that performance to emotion. First WCHA series at home versus the evil empire? You know the players were up for it and the rabidity of their fans certainly infected them. tDon responded by "grounding" his team to their hotel. The Gophers responded to that punishment with a solid effort Saturday night and earned a 3-3 tie. I'm unsure how much of a differnce the Mariucci crowd can make in a series but I wouldn't want to be Denver limping into Minneapolis this coming weekend.

St. Cloud hosted an up and coming ECAC Union team for a series. On Friday night, the Bluffskies had the game mostly in hand 3-1 before giving up two late goals for a 3-3 tie. On Saturday they managed to not fuck up the 3-1 lead and sent Union home without an official win. From what I saw though, Union probably considered the tie a victory. The Bulldogs aren't from Schenectedy NY and will likely present a bigger challenge this weekend. 1-2-1 to open the season isn't making anyone in St. Nothingelsetodoville happy.

WCHA basement-projected Colorado College had a real nice weekend in Madtown. They took 3 of 4 valuable points from the upper echelon-projected Badgers. I saw small bits and pieces of the games. The action was WCHA-tight anytime I watched. Scotty Owens should be proud of his team's effort. Badger fans aren't in a tizzy since they've got an NHL backline to depend on and CC only scored four goals on the weekend. Offensive questions may rear their head in Buckyland but Scotty Owens is generally underrated for his defensive coaching. It'd be hard to say anything definitive about either of these teams based on the weekend. The Badgers go west to Mankato this coming weekend.

I'll have the first North Dakota related preview post tomorrow. The Fighting Sioux Sports Network will be carrying the UAA feed for North Dakota fans this weekend. I'm not sure if that means that their announcers will be here in Anchorage or they'll just use Kurt's always excellent call. I hope that the UAA student camera operators resist the allure of the zoom button this weekend for the sake of North Dakota fans watching. Ok really it's just so that I don't have to hear UND fans bitch and moan about the camera work. I know the students are learning and I'm honestly thrilled to have the coverage we have on TV. I have nothing but respect for the effort that UAA's Journalism and Public Communications department makes. But zooming in with the camera for a hockey game results in missing some of the play. The game is too fast and the puck is too small.

Michigan Tech was idle. They go to Colorado Springs this weekend. The infamous floating tiger head on B2 network will be making Houghton heads explode this weekend. Watching a game on B2 from CC absolutely sucks. B2 uses the arena camera which is intended for the folks in the World Arena scoreboard video. For future reference ... if you can deal with just a radio call when UAA goes to the Springs then I recommend not paying B2 to watch the floating tiger head during EVERY single stoppage. It's nightmare inducing.

On a wholly unrelated sidenote ... I just saw a TV commercial with a nurse named Slaughter. If I'm in the hospital and a nurse named Slaughter is assigned to my case ... ?? Yikes. I wouldn't go to a dentist named Payne or a doctor named Hertz or use a surgeon named Butcher. I definitely wouldn't want a nurse called Slaughter ... unless ... Ok .. all this is just a vehicle for the picture below. I guess she could be named Slaughter and I'd be ok with her being my nurse.

Sunday Potpourri: Dear North Dakota

This week is minimally special for me here at the UAA Hockey Fan Blog. Over the first couple of weeks of the 09/10 college hockey season, I've taken several little shots to demean the state in which you live. Some of you are just unfortunate enough to live within the borders of the state but are probably otherwise fine people. But the fact is that some demarcation is required to limit my insulting behavior. That happens to be the borders of your state. You don't see me dogging any assholes that live across the river in Moorhead right?

So by default; unless you're a Native American, if you live in North Dakota then you're going to get lumped in, stereotyped and/or disrespected by me this coming week. Aboriginal peoples are exempt because you and your neighbors have historically shit on them more than enough. Haven't you?

It's not going to be personal or anything. I'm not going to show up on your blog, facebook or twitter page and post your individual criminal history. I really have no idea about your personal character. You could be a fine upstanding buddist-temple-going moral equivalent to Jesus. I don't know. You could be a baby raper that graduated from SCSU. But in either case, this week you may feel personally derided by something I say here.

Of course, you shouldn't take it personally. You should consider the milieux of the college hockey blog world and allow that to moderate your anger. But you won't. You live in a craphole of a state and part of the result of that geographic misfortune is that the rest of the world quite properly views you as unreasonable and ignorant. And that judgement by the rest of us has colored you. It is shit that has stuck.

Your best recourse would be to leave the state as so many of your fellow citizens choose to do year in and year out. Or blame it on those NoDak Ex-Pats that populate the series of tubes. Folks that have some connection to UND from California to Maine pop up on this series of tubes with all manner of crowing and lame shit-talking. They make those of you courageous enough to live in North Dakota look bad with all that. It's a shame.

Look anywhere on the Internet and you'll see what I mean. YouTube is loaded with videos making fun or your state. There are all sorts of webpages dedicated to the same effort. I know the classic answer is "We like it just fine here." That's just completely WOW to me. Nobody really even tries to defend the harsh criticism ... I guess nobody can. As brilliant and articulate as I am, I'd have a helluva hard time defending North Dakota. Perhaps since you "like it just fine" there, then you won't really be offended by anything I say? Good on those of you who feel that way. I bet you were born in South Dakota.

Your state has been defined as crap by our culture long before I found it funny to bash. Since it's impossible to retaliate against my geographic region (that means Alaska RuLEz!), I expect some of you will come here and try to lay down some smack on me personally. I guess all I can say is give it your best. I have plenty of confidence and a vocabulary that's extensive enough to make you look foolish. My publicly available transgressions against society have already been documented here so don't waste your time creeping through government databases in some attempt to "expose" me. Some other stalker beat you to that.

And yeah ... there'll be plenty of hockey talk. I even plan to examine the team you all love; I'll closely and carefully analyze their potential.

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It's early in the season Seawolves fans. A day after the bitter disappointment of losing to RMU and a bit of reflection means that I'm not so down about it as I was. 3 separate 5 on 3 penalty kills are hard to overcome. I'm not happy that so much time was spent in the penalty box. I guess the referee's were just getting their jollies? Doesn't matter. Nobody purposely committed a penalty. Every Seawolves player wanted to win that game. They've all got to be just as bummed that they lost. Hopefully, they've all put it behind them. This coming weekend conference play starts and our boys are facing a daunting series of opponents.

First UND at home, then Minnesota at the John, then Denver comes to town before the Seawolves head out to Madison. It's as difficult a 4 week schedule as any team in college hockey faces. A loss to RMU can't be dwelled upon. Everyone needs to have their heads screwed on straight and be as physically prepared as they can be. Veterans need to set the tone in practice. No bullshitting around. If any freshman on this UAA team thinks the next four weeks are going to be anything like the last four then they're fooling themselves. The competitive nature of WCHA games is a solid step above what they've seen so far.

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The worst commercials on TV are The Ladders commercials. It's fine and dandy that a service for exceptionally qualified people exists so they can be matched up with companies looking for exceptionally qualified workers. But since the majority of us aren't exceptionally qualified then what's the point of making us out to be mini-Godzilla's with impotent fire spitting capabilities?

Hopefully, exceptionally qualified people don't actually need some pretentious fucking employment service to place them in an exceptional job and that fucking company goes out of business. Do you think the people that work for The Ladders are exceptionally qualified? I doubt it. I wonder how they like working for a company that disrespects them? The Ladders certainly doesn't have an exceptionally qualified Advertising/PR company doing their TV commercials.

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Chris Collinsworth is an unabashed ultra-putz.

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Curtis Glencross isn't. 3 goals and 1 assist in 8 games with a team leading +/- of +6.

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In case you haven't seen it. And gawd only knows how you couldn't have ... this 9 year old did this during some sort of promotional shootout contest before a Bruins game last week.

I've got questions ... what did the next kid do to follow that tough act? Would you want to be the next kid to shoot in that contest? Are that goalies friends in 4th grade teasing him incessantly on the playground now? Why don't these kids that we see on these videos ever seem to grow up to be big time players? And is true that Red Berenson already made him a partial scholarship offer?

What's a Rensselaer?

And why is "laer" pronounced the same as "lear"? I suppose it's because RPI is a Tech school? Many Michigan Tech students/alumni that I've met were bad spellers. So I suppose RPI folks can't spell either? RPI (Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute) is a college or university in Troy, New York. Lucky for bad spellers that they go to a school that is difficult to spell and live in a town that is easy to spell. Troy is often referred to as the Troilet.

Anyway, the schools nickname is the Injunaers (or maybe it's Injunears?) or Red Hawks. They have the all time stupidest mascot/logo in the history of sports. The creativity of Injunaering students is legendary. And by legendary of course I mean completely without precedent in terms of futility. What's with the hat on that guy? Some of the teams from RPI go by the name Red Hawks (since 1995) but the hockey team were super sensitive PETA-types and didn't like other fans yelling "Kill the chickens" so they ignored the official name change and stayed with Injunaers.

Way back when there were only 3 other college hockey teams RPI won a national championship. Then in 1985 everbody else crapped the bed and they snagged another one. SCSU is deeply envious of RPI.

The Red Hawks are coached by former Pionaer's assistant Seth Appert. The Pionaers also used a Red Hawk for their logo for a number of years until fans from other schools yelled "Kill the Jelly Donuts". The sensitivity of all Red Hawk-related fans is legendary. Of course by legendary I mean hilarious.

To say the Rensselaers are in a rebuilding year is a bit misleading; a "building" year would be more accurate. They did finish the season fairly strong with a sweep of Dartmouth before pushing Cornell to 3 games in the ECAC playoffs. They lost no real significant scoring from last years 10-27-2 team.

They're not big nor are they small. They have 10 players listed at 6'2" or above. They have 9 players listed at 5'10" or below. They recruit from all over. They've got some decent young players up front. And their goaltending won't likely be teh suck. They opened their 09/10 campaign with a 5-1 loss to UMass and a 3-1 win against UNH.

If the Seawolves play their game with vigor and execute anywhere near the level they're capable then this RPI team will head into their 2nd game versus UA_ with an 0-1 tournament record.

The Seawolves should use their size to it's best advantage and I'd expect at times UAA's speed will present problems. Offensively, the possession game should also serve the Seawolves effectively. UAA fans should notice a distinct difference in the overall talent level akin to what we witnessed versus Mercyhurst.

I'm expecting a superior defensive effort this weekend. Don't be surprised to see UAA using a trapping style in the high neutral zone against this foe. Hemming them in should be an effective strategy. They are young enough (13 underclassmen) to still be working on their breakouts. Disrupting their passing lanes early should frustrate them and put the game solidly on UAA's page.

What I'm mostly trying to say here is that there is no excuse for the Seawolves to falter on Friday afternoon. I'll have a Cigarette University preview tomorrow.

Prediction: UAA 6 - Rensselaers 1

WCHA Weekend Wrap

The DU Pioneers entered the first weekend of the college hockey season with a virtual lock on the #1 preseason spot in all polls. A much ballyhooed offense was one of the key reasons for the overwhelming predictions. The Pios scored 5 goals on Friday night and 4 goals on Saturday night. Unfortunately for them, Vermont wasn't looking at preseason rankings and scored 1 more goal on the weekend than the Pios. Their effort was good enough for a 6-4 win over the Pios on Saturday after losing 5-4 on Friday. It's early ... but perhaps it's a good sign that we see DU fail to live up to expectations so early. DU travels to Columbus for an odd Thursday/Saturday series versus Ohio State.

North Dakota swept Hockey East's perennial basement dwelling Merrimack this weekend at the Ralph. Friday night saw UND put together a strong 2nd and 3rd period to pull away to a 5-2 win. On Saturday, the Warriors from the east kept it closer losing 3-2. And yes ... it's still 14 degrees warmer in Anchorage today than it is in Grand Forks. They're counting on youth this season in Grand Forks to keep them at the top of the league. This past weekend they got two of their 8 goals from rookies.

St. Cloud St. travelled all the way to some shit hole college in Florida (Miami) to play hockey and promptly got their hats handed to them. The overrated St. Cloud St. offense failed on 10 power play attempts in the two games. Friday night they lost 3-2 and Saturday night they lost 2-0. How some shit school in Florida beats (twice) the mighty Huskies from Minnesota escapes this hockey analyst. Maybe Garrett Roe and Ryan Lasch got some sand in their panties from spending too much time on the beautiful Florida beaches?

The Minnesota State University-Mankato Purple Landcows swept the pride of the CCHA Bowling Green somethings this weekend in their cell-phone carrier rink. Friday they beat the somethings 3-2 and Saturday by 4-1. One rookie goaltender allowed 2 goals on 18 shots. The other rookie goalie gave up one goal on 22 shots. I can't wait to see if Troy Jutting pulls a Dean Blais on these two kids. I'm betting he'll fuck up their minds before mid-season. MSUM put up 76 shots on BG netminder Nick Eno for the weekend.

Colorado College split the weekend with Northeastern at the World Arena in The Springs. The Black Bears (err ... Tigers) won 4-2 on Friday night and lost 4-3 on Saturday night.

Minnesota Duluth started their season off nicely by winning on Friday night versus CCHA powerhouse Lake Superior. Then on Saturday they crapped the bed with a 3-1 loss to CCHA powerhouse Northern Michigan. For a team from almost-Wisconsin, they sure didn't hold up the reputation of all-mighty Minnesota hockey domination.

Michigan Tech was part of the same Superior Showcase tournament and had opposite results to UMD. Tech took it to their arch-rival NMU winning 5-3 on Friday but lost 3-1 to Lake Superior on Saturday. This either means that Tech is better than everyone thinks or UMD is worse than everybody thinks. Or both eh?

The Gophers and Bucky didn't play. Next weekend Wisconsin hosts CC and the Gophers go to Mariucci West to face the UNDies. Minnesota Duluth and Mankato play a pair in almost-Wisconsin. St. Cloud St. faces mighty Union of the ECAC at the NHC. Union swept Maine this past weekend throwing the fans of Campbell Blair's former employer into a major tizzy calling for Timmah Whitehead's ... um head.

How did UAA's next opponents do in action this past weekend? Cigarette University Robert Morris played two exhibitions versus Queens and won 8-4 then 4-3. RPI (what's a Rensselaer) lost 5-2 to Massachusetts on Friday and beat UNH 3-1 on Saturday. The Seawolves face the Rensselaer's this Friday afternoon at 4:05 and RMU Saturday afternoon at 3:05.

In combined action the WCHA went 9-5 in interconference play. Not impressive.