Yes. Losing to MSU-M by six goals is an embarrassment to Alaska. But to be fair let's put it into perspective. Here are some Alaska things that are exponentially more embarrassing. So fear not UAA Seawolves ... you guys definitely laid an egg on Saturday but that minor shame doesn't begin to compare to the grandeur of shame that all the following morons have spewed onto this otherwise fine state.
1. Sarah Palin
I know it's an easy target but let's review a few things:
Cheated on her hubby with his business partner
Son forced into the Army by judge following his foray into the drunken vandalizing of 44 school buses
Daughter pregnant at 17 ... her baby-daddy's mum sells "hillbilly heroin"
On a clear day you can see Russia (Big Diomede island) from Alaska (Little Diomede island); 11 people live on Little Diomede Island ... that isn't foreign policy experience you dumb bitch
425 on verbal SAT; 416 on Math SAT -- 36th and 31st percentile
Reverend "Witchdoctor" Muthe
Rape kits paid for by Wasilla rape victims (hooray for fiscal conservatism) in a state with the highest rape rate in the U.S.
DUI-convicted hubby running rampant in the state capitol as if he were the Gov causing the whole Troopgate embarrassment
**Hey Sarah ... don't come to the Sully for the Governor's Cup thing this year ok? Really ... don't.
2. Aerial Wolf Hunting
In order to artificially increase Moose populations for hunters the State of Alaska instituted a program where a select group of assassins are paid a bounty and allowed to cull the wolf population from airplanes. The program includes the killing of pups inside their dens. Palin didn't initiate but wholeheartedly supports this effort. Former Alaska Governor and Nixon's Interior Secretary Wally Hickel once said, "We cant just let nature run wild."
3. Ted Stevens
Renaming an airport after someone is usually reserved for dead guys. But to honor the 40 year carpetbagging career of this vile miscreant (and now convicted FELON), the Anchorage International Airport now bears his name. Little did the folks who perpetrated this monstrous foible on the people of this fine state know that at the time they did so, Uncle Ted was getting 200K+ worth of remodeling on his home done gratis by the most corrupt businessman in the state. A man who has only avoided jail by ratting out all the politicians he bribed.
4. Charlie Sokaitis
Yes. The lowly junior sports reporter on KTUU-TV is the 4th most embarrassing thing in Alaska. The kid is illiterate ... remember "Merceyherst" from earlier this year; he also yells at the camera ala Billy Mays. And he is from Fairbanks. He misprounces two names per broadcast at a minimum. He is more embarrassing than Dan Fagan, Meg Stapleton and Bill McAllister combined. All of whom are carpetbagging imports doing whatever they can to cash in via their media positions (all of whom coincidentally started their Alaska media careers at KTUU).
5. Pork Pork Pork Pork Pork
This state for decades has led all U.S. states in federal spending per capita (a whopping 71% more than the average). 1 in 3 jobs in Alaska is indirectly tied to federal spending. I'm all for finacial support of bush Alaska and the difficulties associated with living in the remote places. Many bush people were still shitting in buckets until recently. The U.S. knew of these challenges when it adopted Alaska as a state so some extra spending here is understandable. But a disproportionate amount of that funding has historically gone to support the latest and greatest (and most expensive) military toys. The Cold War ended 20+ years ago. Russia isn't going to invade through Alaska anymore ... actually they never were. Do I have to mention 450 million dollar bridge to Gravina Island? All this while a 40 billion dollar investment account exists that pays every individual in the state an average of 1000 dollars a year. Yes ... the Palins will get 7 of those checks. Those folks on TV with 18 freaking kids are dumbasses if they don't move here (they would have gotten over 36,000 dollars this past year).
That's my top five. There are quite a few other embarrassing tidbits about Alaska. But I'm not really here to edify everyone about all that. Do a little research and you can learn some amazingly embarrassing shit about Alaska on your own (hint: Google "jesuit and catholic priests in Alaska" for a start). Don't get me wrong. I call myself an Alaskan and am proud of so much of what this state has to offer. But I'm not about to close my eyes to the crap that exists here.