Tuesday, March 11, 2008

Why The Seawolves Will Advance vs. CC

The number 1 seed playing the number 10 seed in the WCHA playoffs has historically been a near impossibility for an upset. Only once since 1993 has the #10 beaten the #1. The winner that year? MTU. The loser? CC. On three occasions the #10/#1 match-up has gone to 3 games. That's the facts jack. Regardless, I believe in the Seawolves and here are some reasons that I say UAA will take it's 2nd trip to the Final Five after disposing of CC this weekend.
  1. CC has nothing to play for. They've won the league championship already. They're going to the NCAA's as a #1 seed on their home rink. Going to the Final Five is just a pain in the ass for them. Final Five profits are divided equally among the leagues teams. They don't need to go to get their share of the booty. They'll go deeper into the NCAA's with the extra rest that skipping the Final Five will give them. Can you say no motivation?
  2. UAA has nothing to lose and everything to gain. Every Seawolf player wants to keep playing. Nobody wants the season to end. There is no excuse not to play the absolute best hockey of the season this weekend. So they will. Can you says tons of motivation?
  3. CC's last National Championship was 51 years ago. They lost to the #10 seed 14 years ago. 51-14 = 37. Numerical substition for S-E-A-W-O-L-V-E-S = 118. 118-37=81. The square root of 81 (10th place - 1st place) = 9. What more could you want? The math gods are on UAA's side.
  4. The Seawolves have a nickname that respectfully reflects the culture of the indigenous people of the local area. The closest actual Tiger to CC is like 10,000 miles away in Sumatra.
  5. Altitude will not be a factor. As I type this UAA is en route to Colorado and will have the days necessary to adapt.
  6. There are 189 mountain peaks in Alaska higher than any mountain in Colorado.
  7. My dad is better than Randy May's dad.
  8. Karma will deny CC the series victory because of their shitty B2 only video with the annoyingly freakish floating Tiger head. Come on Colorado Springs ... get into the 21st century. Why the NCAA would award a regional playoff to a berg than apparently has no satelittle uplink facilities is beyond comprehension. CC fans can blame the egg sucking putz local TV broadcasters for this weekends losses.
  9. Nobody wants to look at Scotty Owens at the Final Five. Let's face it. If they'd never shown Ron Jeremy's face in porn movies then we'd all still be addicted to porn. But alas a face like that should never be shown in any moving image media. Seeing Scotty Owen's face is an ugly reminder to everyone in attendance at the Final Five of their past porn addiction. Nobody needs that so it just ain't gonna happen.
  10. The super secret Eric Walsky multiple giveaway in the defensive zone plan comes to fruition this weekend. Ron Jeremy has no idea. He thinks he got a nice addition when Eric transferred. Little does he know that I gave Walsky some Manchurian Candidate programming.
  11. Richard Bachman is Stephen King's pseudonym. Stephen King is a Mainuh who writes books that often take place in a town called Castle Rock. There is a Castle Rock just outside of Colorado Springs. Maine fans have officially adopted UAA. Stephen King's favorite sport is Women's Basketball. The UAA womens basketball team is having it's best year ever. It all adds up to one thing. As Lyle Woods (UAA's arena announcer) would say, "Another Seawolf victory!"
  12. The most famous person to come from Colorado Springs is probably Lon Chaney (the original Hunchback of Notre Dame). Quasimodo has got to be the most inspiring underdog of all time eh? Lon Chaney never play a Tiger in a movie. He did play a cousin of the Seawolf though .. the Werewolf. A good portion of his career included movies with Alaska themes. None of his roles had anything to do with Colorado Springs.
  13. Neutral zone trapping is for pussies. Hey CC forwards ... come on dudes. You know you don't want to lock back onto the blueline and wait. You want to forecheck! I know you do! Don't listen to Owen's this weekend. Go ahead and rush the UAA zone. Ignore Ron Jeremy! It doesn't matter anyway fellas. Play the game they way you were raised to play it. Go after the puck. Fuck that trapping BS!
  14. The league had no positive drama this season. It was all negative. OMG ... Why are the Gophers "teh Suck"? Waaaa ... Okposo left midseason ... Waaaa ... Trotter left midseason. Where is the heartwarming story? Mankato? LOL. Troy Jutting heartwarming? Nope not unless you think Craig Dahl's sister dressing up like a man is heartwarming. The positive drama just hasn't happened yet. After this weekend everyone in the WCHA will have a warm spot in their hearts for the Seawolves. Even CC fans.
  15. The Seawolves will win because they deserve it. All season they've been a bounce or two away from god only knows how many wins. Fate will intervene and make sure that the Hockey Gods don't screw the Seawolves anymore than they already have.
Thats the deal. Listen to me now and believe me later. And go ahead; try to poo poo all my rationale. You can't do it.


Anonymous said...

Yeah but can we score 5 goals or allow 0..because either 1 or the other has to happen based on the history this year with the tree huggers from da springs...

Anonymous said...

1. CC motivation: have never won their own Broadmoor Cup.
2. Seawolves looked like they wanted to pack it in long ago.
3. um...the square root of 9 is: 3! i think you mean the square root of 81 is 9. ;-) feel free to check with a cc fan any time you need math assistance.
4-9. ...blah, blah, blah...
10. and 14. the most famous person to come from anchorage is eric walsky.

tigers sweep

Anonymous said...

CC fans have to hand it you DD--you are nothing if not entertaining. Unfortunately you are equally as screwed in the head. Your team will be lucky to score 2 goals this weekend. Tigers sweep, and it's not close. See ya!

Roy said...

Agreed, UAA has had so many close games they couldn't win because they are UAA. Seawolves have no players like Rau or Kilpatrick. Saturday night the season is over for UAA. Good bye!!!

Kris said...

Donald, I have been very pessimistic on this blog. You have some how given me hope! But only for a little while I laugh.I sadly enough have to agree with many of these CC posters. From watching the games UAA packed it in some time shortly after we won the Cup. When was the last time this team actually won a game, Mich Tech?

I do hope that these guys actually get some pride and play for it but sadly nothing in this team has shown me that they even have much of that. I want to say that they will get their heads out of where the sun don't shine (and I am not talking about Fairbanks in the winter) but they have shown nothing to make me think that they might. You keep talking about a few more bounces here or there and we would have won. The point is that we did not play well enough to have the bounces go our way and when they went the other way we just packed it up and left the game and our poor goalie (see DU friday night in Anchorage).

I agree that there might be a let down on CC's part since they just came off a series sweep of arch-rival DU. I still don't think that will be enough unless something actually gets into our boys. We probably could beat the 'black bears' but the team just hasn't shown me that they actually care about winning games, just holding on to a scholarship and getting an education. I understand how important an education is, I am getting mine as we write, but you are getting a scholarship to play and have pride not to skate around for 60 minutes and not care about what is going on around you. K done ranting

Kris said...

That stinks. I was actually starting to put on those green and gold color glasses once again and enjoy it thinking that the wolves could always win, but the reality sunk in once again and I realized that they have not cared about winning since they won the Cup. Alright, I am going to go look for where I dropped those glasses.

Anonymous said...

The team has given up? They skate around not caring what's going on around them? Only there for the scholarship? Did not play well enough to win? To sum the team up as a bunch of slackers with their collective heads up their asses is insulting. UAA has players that game in and game out give 110% - just like every other team in this league. UAA also has some players that struggle a little - just like every other team in this league. UAA is only missing a dependable goal scorer - unlike every other team in this league. This team is playing well in spite of that. So, do not assume you know that the boys are not working hard or trying. They would not be here if they had no pride, skill or work ethic. Good luck this week-end boys.


jjack said...

My playoff beard is in full effect. I'm at a Che Guevara right now; here's to hoping the Seawolves will allow me to reach C. Everett Koop status.

Suze said...

If there are any UAA players reading this, hopefully they will prove all the negative posters wrong this weekend, and win at least one game.

You guys have it in you, just like last season. Will CAN beat skill.

annabelle said...


Anonymous said...

UAA won their first game ever in this barn last year, and damn near took both...

It can be done again..

Give 'em hell boys!

GO 'Wolves!!

Anonymous said...

UAA won't win because of one simple reason...they're UAA.

4-1 and 5-2 CC....

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