They Can't All Be Corkers

My primary Thursday offering this week is some sort of "interview" that I semi-conducted with Runninwiththedogs Blog author Donna. Besides having the most awesome three letter start to her name, Donna is funny, quirky and a die-hard Bulldog fan. When RWD does this thing on her blog she calls it "The Gauntlet". Using that moniker for this convo isn't appropriate. For ease of reading I've colored the questions and responses. Black text is from me. Red text is her answers.

Why do you hate Mike Connolly?
Aww, I don't hate Fuzzy. I'm pro Fuzzy. Some big bad Bronco player threw him into the boards last weekend and I about cut someone, but the REF called a PENALTY and I almost died.
Mike senses your overwhelming love for Jack and he isn't amused.
Oh really? Did your spidey sense tell you that?
I'm uncharacteristically intuitive about such things
I think he's probably happy I'm not a freak over him. He sleeps better at night I'm sure.
Do you agree with Hannes Alfven that in a Universe filled with Plasma that electric currents are pervasive?
I failed my plasma engineering course. The professor was a jackass though.
Will Sandy give Kenny Reiter a start this weekend?
I don't know. I don't even know if Kenny is there. I am attempting to find out. Bruce is being reticent. He threatened my life.
I'll handle Bruce this weekend. Was he pouty cos I didn't show up and say hi last year?
Bruce is pouty because I send him barrages of text messages about stupid stuff. While I am driving.
Did it snow there yet?
No. But every customer that I talk to that finds out I am in Minnesota asks me that. Or about the Mall of America.
Be happy that they know Minnesota is a state
It is THE state of hockey.
Is Sandelin's job on the line this year?
Yes. There is major talent on this team and if we don't finish better then there's no way I can defend him anymore. I will most likely usurp him.
What will tUMD fans consider "better"?
Home ice for the playoffs.
Coke or Pepsi?
Coke, definitely coke. And also Coca-Cola.
Rant on to your own satisfaction about USCHO ...
I don't really mention "that site" on my blog as I don't want to give them any undue publicity. It does give me a nice ego boost; it reminds me of how intelligent I am. It is a fruit roll-up of vulgarity, depravity, and the worst elements of the human psyche. It's like shower shoes covered in mold. I generally go on there only to offend.
As did I once upon a time
I can't say I ever read one of your posts but I know I'm much more reserved than you are. I usually forget what posts I've started things in.
Will the LHC create a black hole?
St. Cloud State will with all the negative pressure (vacuums don't suck, people!) coming out of there.
Compare the Bulldogs defense this year to last years blueliners
They are... um... Kind of the same? Palm is still Palm. Cascalenda is still Cascalenda.
Garrison is gonzo
Oberg is back and scoring us goals. Mike Montgomery has joined the blueline and is a big kid who knows how to play the offensive side of the game as well. Our penalty kill is not as strong.
What about Josh Meyers?
Josh is Josh. He is supposed to be another offensive defenceman but I just can't figure him out. He does score points. I don't know how I feel about him on the PP. I know that Scotty Kishel is going to be a great PP guy in the coming years. He is kind of in and out of the lineup.
Did you guys get whistled for boatloads of penalties so far?
Yes. But we always do. I think that we were spoiled last year with an outstanding PK.
Special Teams looks to be THE "theme" this year
I think coaches say that every year. They are always a key element of the game and no team is very successful without good special teams. I think the big problem is if there are more penalties on both sides that more guys need to be ready to fill those roles. Many guys play on both the PP and the PK and we really don't want to kill them.
The extra-emphasis this year on stick-related offenses is an adjustment all the players will have to make.
Those Canadians sure were confused during the exhibition games. "Thaaaat's a penalty, eh?"
What would be more fun --- me coming to Final Five ... or you coming to Anchorage for a series?
You coming to the Final Five. The Final Five is Holy Week, Donald. I will at some point come to Anchorage I am sure, but the Final Five is so awesome.
I have no doubt I'd have more fun at the Final Five than I would chauffeuring you around Anchorage
On your moose. Or your... what did you call it... snow "machine?"
What are the final scores this weekend?
You're done already? That's IT?
what? cos i asked the final scores? dont assume
Okay, then. I was concerned. 4-3 tUMD 4-0 tUMD Jacky with a goal. Fuzzy with 2.
LOL
I went above and beyond there.
Will you be watching on the web?
Probably. Is that naughty Santa going to be on?
I don't know who is advertising this year. I don't watch it much ya know. How is UAA's stream compared to others?
It is great compared to any of the crap I see on B2. Like CC's floating tiger head, for example.
That thing is psychologically damaging I fear When was the last time you and Bethlyn were stumble down drunk together?
We never have been. I don't think I've ever been drunk in her presence.
Sigh ... boring
I know. When I visited her I came down with bronchitis almost immediately upon arrival. So I didn't drink very much. I had like 1 sip of something. I do not need to drink to have a good time.
But you're more fun when you do.
Eh. Possibly. I'm a really mean drunk.
Shouldn't you really just turn into a Gopher fan? I mean ... isn't that how it works down there?
I don't see the point. I can not WAIT to see tDogs win their first NC. No Gopher fan can say that. They are not the Borg. Resistance is not futile. Not as many people in Minneapolis are Gopher hockey fans as you might think. I mean, Donald, if I was going to be a Gopher fan, I would be. I was born (technically) on campus at the UMTC medical center. I mean, you can't get any more into the heart of Gopher country than that.
Hence my question
But I grew up a Dogs fan. It's hereditary. I'd be disowned. Also I went to another big 10 school.
What team do you dislike (hate) most?
St. Cloud.
Are you as apathetic as me about Mankato?
No. I'm semi-pro Mankato. I have a lot of family there. But I can see how someone might be that way.
I'm trying to work up more hatred for them but I find them boring.
Juttz sucks. His wife is my idol though.
What about UND? Where are they on your list?
I could not possibly care less about UND. They bore me.
Denver?
Denver is a force to be reckoned with this year.
Colorado College?
CC had better get on their horse and figure out if they're going to be a good team; er, a great team, because, um, 1-0 against UAH?
UAH's goalie stood on his head
They will be on the top 3 in the league but they need to transcend to the macrocosm if they're going to go anywhere. Great teams win those games. By lots of goals. I am overly critical, but whatever.
Are you happy to get a new rink before UAA?
I am happy to get a new rink sooner rather than later. It would be nice if UAA got one, too, but I didn't feel any competitive vibes. I'm listening to a song called "Anchorage" right now!
I recall you expressing suicide as an alternative if UAA were to get a rink before you guys
I am prone to hyperbole. And poor memory.
Ever had chicken-pox?
Yes, on Christmas. I gave it to my mom, too.
Ouch ... you bitch. Compare this years Bulldog offense to last years
This year >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> last year. What else can I say? I mean... last year was just sort of a mess.
Are the t'dogs a 2 line or 3 line team?
Right now they are a 2 line team but they will probably become a 3 line team.
How many games do you think Stalock will play this year?
Almost all of them. I'm thinking like 40
Do you think that will leave the team in a bit of a spot next year if Stalock doesn't return?
No I think Brady is going to be a great goalie for us.
But Sandy won't play him much this year? Wouldn't it be a good idea to play the backup versus UAA this weekend?
I think Stalock is the horse that Sandy is going to ride. I would have thought we would see Brady last weekend. I wonder what would have happened if we had...
UAA goes to UMD to play on the last WCHA weekend this season. Will you be at those games?
I might. If I have school I won't.
What is your earliest memory of a Seawolf?
It's fairly vague. When I was young we would sometimes go up to my grandparents's cabin on weekends in the winter and we would watch tUMD games on a super old tv. And sometimes those games would involve UAA. Now a whole generation of children will be deprived of that because tUMD is no longer on TV.
Do you miss Sertie?
I don't, I think it's great for him to enjoy retirement.
Does Sertie attend games at the DECC?
I don't know. Maybe? We're not BFFs.
I'm all out of prewritten questions
Those were prepared in advance??? Not as easy as it looks, is it? Bow to the master.
Let me find a mirror. What's gas going for down there?
$2.xx I rarely buy gas. I don't drive a damn tank.
I gots to run to pick up dinner
Oh, did someone drive by your house and hit a rodent?

Ok so that's it. Well not really. There's is a fair amount of leftover junk on the editing floor.