Friday Night Potpourri: Just Filling The Hole

This past week saw some of the most pansified shit-talking of all-time on the Internet between two of the biggest sets of purse-swingers ever to hide behind the anonymity of their keyboards.  All week the question was who was going to payback SCSU's Bender Marvin for crunching UND's Chay Genoway's head earlier this season.  

So both of those perenially notoriously wimpy teams hit the ice tonight and of course the non-stop bluster from their fans proved to be wholly unwarranted.  Bender Marvin even gave them an opportunity by cross-checking someone with less than three minutes into the 3rd.  None of the UND players though were able to shed their satin panties and man up during the last 17 minutes; instead they left the ice with big yellow stains on the front of their breezers and a 4-3 loss.

Minnesota's goaltender Alex Kangas tossed a big fuck you at his coach for pulling him with 2 minutes left in the game.  DU was up 2-0 and Lucia pulled Kangas in the hopes that his team's goal-scoring futility against Cheverie would end.  It did end.  And with the score 2-1 and more than a minute and a half left, Lucia sent Kangas back in.  Kangas was still pouting though as a result of being pulled and stood in the crease as stiff as the Colossus of Rhodes while Rakhshani slid a soft into Kangas' Frazee Hole.  3-1.  I got 5 bucks that says Kent Patterson starts tomorrow.

Wisconsin beat Mankato 4-3.  I actually tried to watch that game for some insight into next weekends UAA series.  Unfortunately, Paul Braun's insipid sleep-inducing blue haze wafted from the TV screen and engulfed my recliner.  While I was awake, I saw lots of uncalled Mankato stick work.  6 of the 7 goals scored were results of penalties (3 power play goals, 2 shorties and a penalty shot with one minute left in the game).  I suppose I missed some interesting things because of the nap.  Yawn.  So what?  Gawd those two teams bore me.

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I'm watching the opening ceremonies for the Olympics as I write this.  I'd like to rant a bit about what a douchebag Bob Costas is and how sorry I feel for Matt Lauer at having to sit next to him.  But, I won't (yet).  

Instead, allow me to ask what sort of engineer could possibly design a luge run with huge girders and steel work for athletes to kill themselves on?  Had this particular moron never watched one of these luge events? Nodar Kumaritashvili didn't deserve to have his life cut short because of some lazy engineer who didn't do their homework.

Whoever that dumbass is should really just report directly to jail.  Do not pass go, do not collect 200 dollars.  Take that person's engineering license away and put them on trial for stupidity.  There's got to be a law in Canada against stupidity doesn't there?

Now the first song is being played and it's clearly being lip-synched by two people that have tons of experience performing live?  I hate being cynical.  I really cherish the Olympics.  The ideals it professes have always resonated with me.  I think they should always transcend politics and it bothers me whenever they (all too often) don't.  

Sure, there's nationalism involved but at it's heart the Olympics is all about individual athletes doing their best regardless of medal counts.  It's an event that should bring the world together in awe of all it's performances.  I didn't like the USA's "Dream Team" concept in Basketball and it actually heartens me to see them lose nowadays that the rest of the world has had time to develop in that silly sport.  I wish there could somehow be a return to true amateurism in hockey.  

Don't get me wrong; the hockey competition is great with essentially NHL All-Star teams arranged by nationality with something real at stake.  It is the highest level of hockey played.  But, seeing guys that weren't making big money play for pure pride was always compelling for me.  And yes, I know it isn't the only Olympic sport tainted by professionalism.  Oh well, I've always been stupidly idealistic.  I just hope they don't arrest me for breaking that stupidity law I hoped they have the next time I cross the border. 

And oh yeah ... I don't get the "Batman fiddler thing".  Some friggin Quebecois shite eh?  And homeless bums tap-dancing?  What's culturally significant about that?  Somebody please buy these people some clothes at WalMart eh?   Peter Pan flying over the prairie?  Peter Puck woulda been a better choice.   I do like the visuals ... that sort of large scale stuff is neato.  They have a National Circus school in Montreal?  No wonder there's so many clowns in Quebec.  

Quebec is like the Minnesota of Canada ... all provincially self-important.  Thank god for British Columbia ... it entirely offsets the ludicrous-ocity of Quebec.  Slam poetry?  Aw ... Canadians are polite.  And your big poem has to point out Zed?  LOL ... "the abandoned hesitation of those who can't wait" ... ??  What the hell does that mean? Oops, I'm being cynical again.

Props to whoever did the rest of the opening ceremony spectacle.  Pretty nice stuff that was somewhat reminiscent of the incredible visuals from Beijing.  Good on them for doing a good job with it.  But (and I bet you knew there was a "but" coming), Wayne Gretzky and Steve Nash lighting the flame?  How fucking weak.  Betty Fox woulda been a better choice.

First, Gretz needs no more honors.  Sure, he's a huge ICON.  He's "the man" and all that.  But really, give the flame to your oldest living gold medal winner and leave it at that.  Gretz was in the Olympics once and Canada lost the bronze medal game.  So he isn't even a medal winner of any sort.  And some freaking basketball player?  Really?  At the winter Olympics?  Weak ... the VANOC should be ashamed for those choices.  They diminished other athletes by their choices.

I'm sure there is some old curling team that won the gold who are all still alive eh?  They shoulda lit the flame.  At some point I may actually have to move to Canadia (i.e.. if this country is stupid enough to vote in Sarah Palin to any national office) so I hope they correct this sort of malfeasance before that happens.  And did the same luge engineer design the lifts for the flame lighting?

And finally, please my dear Canadian brethren ... somebody please stuff some BC Bud into Bob Costas' lunch brownies.  Please.  It may be the only thing that will make him tolerable.