Monday, January 01, 2007

You Can't Spell SUCKS w/o SCSU

This is an abbreviated primer (of sorts) for those uninitiated in some of the finer points that contribute to SCSU being the most enjoyable target on the college hockey landscape. There are just too many things about St. Cloud State University that have become embedded in the psyche of college hockey fans around the country and I'd be remiss if I didn't cover some of the basics first:

St. Nicknames:
JBSU - Jan Brady State University
(A constant jealous refrain of
"Marsha Marsha Marsha" over the years from the rural Minnesota college town regarding it's big sister in Mariucciville earned them this most beloved moniker.)
St. Somewhat Lesser St. Nicknames:
St. Cloud Bluffskies
SCCC - St. Cloud Community College
St. Aretha "R-E-S-P-E-C-T" Franklin University
St. Clown
and of course ... St. Bob
St. Future Favorite St. Nicknames:
St. Double Bobble
St. OferEver
St. OneandDone
St. NEFSIAEEEDUFWSAIL
(Never Ending Futility Stuck In An Ever Expanding Ever Darkening Universe Filled With Sadness And InfiniteLament)
Never won an NCAA playoff game:
In 5 trips to the NCAA's the Huskies have never managed a win. 4 of those years came from 1999-2003 with their only other playoff appearance coming in 1989. You'd never know it listening to the way their fan base talks about them. Their fans have already characterized this years edition as "the greatest Huskies team ever" (um ... don't you have to be great at least once before to be called "greatest" ... is it just me or is that like a kid saying "you're my favorite mommy")? I'll look at the reality of the 06-07 Huskies II in my "Preview a St. Bob Fan Can Understand" post later in the week. Part of the JBSU syndrome is something not unlike the now famous "inferior in the interior" and "you can't spell failure without UAF" sayings. The folks in St. Cloud just don't seem comfortable in their own jeans and almost certainly conciously repress their all too true longing for the big city life. God bless the poor buggers. Their fans are pretty hopeful they'll get another chance this year to pick up their first NCAA win. Mebbe they will ... I'll save that for later.
WCHA Quote of the Week that didn't come from former SCSU Head Coach Craig Dahl:
UAA Athletic Director Dr. Steve Cobb when asked about the timing of the Dave Shyiak's job notice:
"If you gotta eat a frog you should do it in the mornin' so it doesn't ruin your whole day."
Other St. Cloud Fun Factoids:
There is one snowmobile dealership for every 5400 people in the city of St. Cloud. If you include the nearby outlying area the proportion goes down to 1:3300 or so.

The Stearns County History Museum is the only county Museum in the the state to be accredited by the American Association of Museums. I have to ask ... Why do the rest of Minnesota's counties hate the American Association of Museums? Their mission statement says "... is to enhance the value of museums to their communities through leadership, advocacy and service". St. Clouderiteians should be proud and the rest of the counties in Minnesota should be taken to Mankato and hung on the Guiness world-record gallows they have over there.

St. Cloud was named after a suburb of Paris by some Mainuh with a Napoleon fetish. No wonder there are so many swelled chests in central Minnesota. Phew.

26 comments:

Runninwiththedogs said...

Hey... don't talk about my chest that way. I can't help it...

Jimjamesak said...

HAHAHAHA. That's just too much man... no wait please continue. BTW nice job working the Failure reference in there.

*patiently waits for St. Cloud reaction...*

LetsGoMavs said...

You missed my personal favorite...."skank cloud" That one popped out of my mouth (by accident..or Freaudian slip?) when we played them earlier this year.

Skeeterman said...

You forgot the famous "Stearns County Syndrome", the result of too much inter-family marraige among the early German Catholic settlers. This has produced whole families of retarded citizens. Hey, not that there's anything wrong with that. Retards are people, too. It still is true that the best place to picke up chicks for the locals is at a family reunion.

Donald said...

See that's just it ...

There's really an endless supply ...

Everyone has there own favorite reference ...

I know I forgot "Swoonskies" ...

Husky Fan Roy said...

DTP, why can't you talk about the positive things at SCSU.....like how we are 3 time November National Champs...... ;)

Anonymous said...

This is rich, a UAA fan ripping SCSU for not doing well in the National tournament. St. Cloud has finish last in the NCCA tournament less time than UAA has finished last in the WCHA regular season. I'd bet SCSU gets to a final 4 before UAA finishes higher than 4th in the WCHA.

Donald said...

Um ... Positive stuff.

Giraffe is long gone!

The Bathrooms at the Minneapolis airport are now "Finger" proof!

When nodls get wet they can go limp and really aren't suitable for lasching anyone!

The SCSU Athletic Department knows how to use Photoshop as evidenced by their deletion of the UND logo from an action shot they used following SCSU's series with UND!

Donald said...

Anon @7:44
You won't bet anything. You use term's like "bet" to show your confidence but if you had any intention of betting anything then you'd pluck yourself down here and establish some sort of identity and propose the bet you'd like to make.

Your self-engorging masturbatory exclamations about how great SCSU is are otherwise moot.

Anonymous said...

Funny, I didn't say a thing about SCSU being great. I was simply reminding you of how pathetic your squad has been for, oh....ever.

Runninwiththedogs said...

Did you know on USCHO they are now saying St Cloud will get the #1 overall seed?

But don't worry, it's not like a 1 seed has ever lost to a 4 seed...

(Wow, I zinged Jan AND Marsha!)

Jimjamesak said...

I would to point out to anonymous at 7:44am that unlike SCSU, UAA has actually won an NCAA game, not only that, 2 wins. And you better hope to God, Allah, and Buddha that UAA doesn't win the Final Five or you'll have nothing left. And I'll take your bet.

Donald said...

Anon @ 744:
UAA has finished last in the WCHA 4 times.
St. Bob has finished last in the NCAA's 5 times.
UAA is 2-3 in the NCAA's. Two of UAA's three losses came to teams that went on to win the National Championship.

St. Bob finished in the lower half of the WCHA 9 times since joining the league.

You like to pump up your pud with fantasies about your team being far superior to UAA. They've been better overall historically in the league.

But a reasoned overall historic comparison gives the nod to UAA. That's what you can't deal with and I'll keep reminding everyone possible at every chance because I love seeing SCSU fans jumping up and down screaming like little girls.

Jeff said...

Crowder received the WCHA rookie of the week award. Bourne and Anderson were finalists for the Offensive Player of the Week and Defensive Player of the Week awards, respectively

Husky Fan Roy said...

*jumps up and down screaming like a little girl*


:P

Anonymous said...

UAA- when was the last time you finished in the top 7 of the WCHA, Christ, none of you guys even use proper English in your statements. You have been the joke of the WCHA for how many years now that the other leagues won't even play you, because it makes them look worse in the RPI and national rankings. It is only going to get worse for the rest of the year, oh did your coach from two years ago, leave a head coaching job to be an assistant, usually it is the other way around, but he saw the writing on the wall. this weekend series, you will get a reality check Huskies sweep 5-1 and 4-2. Out!

Anonymous said...

1 win two years ago, has that ever been done?

Donald said...

Anon @ 2:54
Two years ago the team won 12 games. The 1 win season was the 02-03. Look stuff up before you post.

To address the point as to whether that's ever happened. Yes. Lots of times in D1 history. Go look it up.

Using John Hill's tenure as any sort of indication about the quality of UAA's program is foolish. You better hope Motzko didn't learn his ethics at the same place Hill did when they were both shining Donnie's shoes and waxing their dolphins. If he did then at some point he'll screw over your program.

(tomorrow Anon comes back and takes me to task for bashing Donnie because inside every St. Bob fan is a repressed Gopher fan.)

Donald said...

Anon @ 0200
You said ..

UAA- when was the last time you finished in the top 7 of the WCHA, Christ, none of you guys even use proper English in your statements.

The irony of criticizing other peoples "proper" English with a comma-spliced poorly contextualized sentence like that is marvelous.

Then you said ...

You have been the joke of the WCHA for how many years now that the other leagues won't even play you, because it makes them look worse in the RPI and national rankings.

Too funny ...

Anonymous said...

UAA isn't even worth my time to look up the failure in your program. Congrats on a twelve win season, I guess..... YOu still lost 19 games, but be proud! 1 win two years ago has happened, not SCSU! oh yeah, you were the last team to do it. And inside evrey Seawolves fan is a Nanooks dolphin

Donald said...

If you're going to use something someone else has recently said in a different venue then you could either ...

#1 ... try to honor the original by actually improving or adding to it in some way or

#2 ... ineptly co-opt it like the stupid kid on the playground in 2nd grade.

... You should have at least tried #1.

Anonymous said...

Hey Donald, how is the dolphin taste, Go Huskies! Even the USCHO thinks you guys will be swept this weekend and falter the rest of the year.. hahahahahahaha

Donald said...

Oh you mean a Wisconsin fan writing an internet column says UAA will finish 8th? LOL. Big surprise.

Jeff said...

Oh are you talking about the guy who also predicted UND to sweep UAA? Yea that guy doesnt really have his shit together. He's lucky to get 60% of his predictions right, so yea...you'll need a better resource than that.

Anonymous said...

You guys played tough this weekend, they hit hard and chase the puck well, should have at least tied on Friday. SWEEP!

Anonymous said...

I guess the site wasn''t all that wrong. pretty quiet about the SCSU Huskie SWEEP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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