Wednesday, March 04, 2009

Duluth: Almost Wisconsin

Regardless of the fact that I don't not like Duluth there is still plenty of reason to take a critical look at the city our favorite team is visiting this weekend. The first thing to point out is one fact that virtually all Duluth residents don't want you to know about. Duluth is almost Wisconsin. You can literally be in Minnesota one second, stumble over backwards and find yourself in Wisconsin the next. Now you and I both know that there is really no tangible difference in the intrinsic value of a chunk of land along some random border between two states. So why then does the citizenry of Duluth guard the secret that their city touches the state of Wisconsin?

Because they hate Wisconsin. Despite being long lived neighbors they hold secret parties in their basements that are "Hate Superior" themed. Residents of sister city Superior, Wisconsin are shunned and insulted and/or tarred and feathered whenever they have the courage to cross the river into Duluth. In Duluth they know how to spell M-I-N-N-E-S-O-T-A, Minnesota Minnesota .. Yeah Minnesota. Whenever UMD plays the University of Wisconsin hockey team you'll see the exact same adjectives and adverbs used to describe the opponent as Gopher fans use. They co-opt the whole "evil commie" theme directly from Goofland. So ... for the ongoing general repression of Superior, Wisconsin by Duluthians I'm comfortable indicting them. Shame on you Duluth. Shame.

"I don't know, ... Duluth Sucks," said Minneapolis/St. Paul resident and UMD's RunninWiththeDogs blogger Donna when asked why UMD doesn't have any sort of TV broadcast contract. Since the games this weekend aren't on TV here in Anchorage, I'd hoped to find out the reason; but that's all she had to offer in the way of explanation.

My question also went unanswered on the UAA/UMD thread at the Bulldogs fan forum "the Penalty Box". Which is administered by guess who? The same Gopher fan who administers the Gopher fan forum "GopherPuckLive". What's the deal? Are Duluthians getting their marching orders from the Gophers?

I guess what it really comes down to is that no Duluth TV stations found it profitable to put the Bulldogs games on. Well maybe if Duluthians didn't beat up and shame the citizens of their sister city in Wisconsin people there would watch the UMD games and make the ratings higher. It's a shame that the provincialism of Duluthians directed at their hated Wisconsin neighbors keeps college hockey fans from being able to view a game from the DECC.

Duluth, Georgia is named after Duluth, Minnesota. It was a sarcastic joke after an 1871 speech by a Minnesota blowhard congressman that described Duluth as some sort of paradise. I'm sure Georgians are proud.

Duluth is only marginally more diverse than the nearly all-caucasian Mankato. 92.65% of Duluth is white. They had an NFL team in Duluth from 1926-1927 called the Eskimoes; George Clooney's "Leatherheads" used it as some sort of basis but changed the name to Duluth Bulldogs? With a current Native American population of 2.44%, I find it hard to believe there was a plurality (i.e... like maybe ... um ... 2?) of Eskimo people in the city in 1926. I guess it was their way of honoring the Inupiat nation from afar?

Curling is big time stuff in Duluth just like in Canada. I wonder if Duluthians get their milk in bags?

And there's no Bong's in Duluth. They're all in Superior.

I'll have some sort of decent comparison previewing the Seawolves and Bulldogs series tomorrow. Will this weekend turn out to be a goaltending duel? Can the Seawolves use their size to advantage on the tiny DECC rink? Will the referees call the basketball-style picks that Sandelin has his team using when they're on the cycle? Will the Bulldogs lack of effective backchecking be exposed by the Seawolves transition game? Can the Bulldog fans come up with soemthing better than "Whats a Seawolf" and/or some lame Palin chant? I can see Wisconsin from my house? Ironically weak.

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

Ironic? I'd have predicted lame somehow. And I thought Idaho or some other godforesaken place was to blame for whatshername. -30-

Anonymous said...

If anybody wants to pay $6.00 or $7.00(can't remember exactly what the prices were) to watch the UAA at UMD games on the internet, you could go to b2livetv.com. You could click on the link to pay 10 minutes before the start of the game time. I plug my computer into the projector to make the game screen bigger.

Anonymous said...

Man,
I always thought I was the originator of the "commie" chant. Apparently the Minnesotan's actually beat me to it. I will give them props because my mind also thought of that one. How could you not when Wisco runs around dressed like the freaking Red Army. And we should know what the Red Army looks like. I have peered over to Russia and seen them march many times from my home in Anchorage.

seawolvesfan said...

our 2010 recruits are putting up some big numbers: BENNET 60/41 CAMERON 55/67 GELLERT 59/55 SPROULE 59/31 games then points. Great to see that hope it translates into the WCHA smoothly

Anonymous said...

"Which is administered by guess who? The same Gopher fan who administers the Gopher fan forum "GopherPuckLive"."

You may want to get your facts straight.

Donald Dunlop said...

Gee .. or you could "get my facts straight" by typing the facts here ... or you could just do a flyby saying I got it wrong.

britney said...

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